Sunday, September 23, 2018

Sunday Night Football Haikus

Mr. Collinsworth
Eat muppets, squish you in squash 
Sell a used Saturn 

Father Time and Tom
Throw away the calendar
Mirage of wrinkles 

Elon Musk smoked weed
The dude is going to Mars
He puffs the ganja

Obama and weed
Our ol’ stoner president
Zennsylvania Ave 

Farthest red flag toss
Patricia hucked that baby 
Not talking Arquette 

Out of the office
I do wish I could help but 
I’m on Golladay 

Can you hear me now?
Cell phone Benedict Arnold 
Why would we trust you?

Trojan Reggie Bush
Remember halcyon days
Time elevates norms 

Light beer commercials 
You know the way to my heart
Unbridled goofy

Living in my mind
These thoughts, they used to be mine
One sided wife swap 

New Amsterdam doc
Breaking balls like Simon Cowell
With a Seacrest smile 

Yo Salmon Sisters 
Swimming upstream with tablets
The Deadliest Hatch

A coverage sack
When you give the quarterback
Time to order drinks

Matt Stafford looks like
A cool high school bully bro
Who never grew up

Did you know that if 
You say pickle juice three times 
Appears Dane Cook’s ghost 

If I ever quit
Writing I’d come back each day
Cuz I’m never done
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 

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