Sunday, September 23, 2018

Seahawks 1st Half Haikus

A Garrett sunburn
Redder than a tomato 
How bout dem ketchup 

Two plays, two lost shoes
Sneakers tryna sneak away
Sketchers are sketchy

The punt went farther 
The referee kept walking 
Should have stopped sooner 

Sunny Seattle
Ha take that the universe
Not always cloudy 

E.T. off the leg
Pinned like the Undertaker
Fingers made of silk

Meet Aussie punter
Dropkicking it like Pele
Beer bonging Fosters 

Keep an eye - Beasley
Future country music star
Wearer of Oakley’s

Who’s the next colonel
Maybe Rihanna, hope so
Should be Rihanna

Back shoulder Brandon
A super off Broadway play
From the mind of Pete

Mingo ate baby
Barkeviousing wrong tree
Geaux big or geaux home

Crawford knocked it down
Russell flung it up the field
Crawford disagreed 

Angry Doug Baldwin
Someone get him some Starbucks
Draw him a nice bath

Angry Doug Baldwin
Always just stubbed his big toe
Could use a massage 

Angry Doug Baldwin 
A football playing Garfield 
Everyone Odie 

Touchdown Jaron Brown
Took a hit, held on to it
Welcome to the squad 

Gosling is First Man
It’s a fictional movie
Fun conspiracy 

Zeke is gonna eat
You can hold him for a bit
Turn you to jelly

A bendy field goal
Spun right, curled back left, magic 
Let’s blame Dumbledore 

Pizza box folder
World’s fastest one, Dominos
Olympic worthy 

Jeff Heath limping off 
A defensive Cole Beasley 
Toffee for breakfast

Leighton Vander Esche 
Alpine skier, fashion gawd 
Part time dog groomer 

Lockett with the bomb
Prancing downfield, slicing shade
Through the finish line
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 

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