Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Open Letter: Nicolas Cage to the Creator of Friends pt. 1

Dear Friends,

Or should I say enemies? See what I did there? The greeting of the letter spilled over into the actual letter part of the letter much like when I am often kayaking in Bora Bora and a bucket of water spills over into my kayak, projectiled by an angry fisherman. Why is he angry you ask? Because all the fishes follow me because I am Nicolas Cage; I am a leader of fish, not a follower of fish. The only fish I will follow is Phish because I am a Phish Head and I also coined the term Phish Head. If you try to say that you came up with that awesome term then I will sue your behind quicker than a Bora Boran (Boran Boran? I went to school with a Boran Boran...he was bullied mercilessly) fisherman after losing track of a school of Mahi Mahi because they are following me, Nicolas Cage, the greatest kayactor of all time.

Yours truly, (or is it true? You can't really trust anyone these days...)

The Nicolas Cage
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 

No comments:

Post a Comment