A Day in the Life: Nicolas Cage pt. 2

4:44 am: Do four fantasy football mock drafts simultaneously while getting a foot massage by one of his many robots even though he doesn't participate in a fantasy football league or know the rules of American football or have human feet (they are more like a hybrid of a bear paw and a spider web).
4:46 am: Get super angry about not doing well in one of the fantasy football mock drafts and threaten to dox everyone in it, completely missing the point of doing a mock draft.
4:49 am: Text Judge Judy to ask her about the legality of doxing.
4:53 am: Text Urban Dictionary to ask them about the definition of doxing.
4:55 am: Set up a squash match with Judge Judy for next Tuesday at her palatial condo.
4:57 am: Consider doxing Judge Judy for a brief second before deciding against it to protect himself from the terrors of small claims court although it would be the highest rated Judge Judy episode of all time and also the first time one of the contestants (?) was professionally enlightened in the art of snake charming.
4:59 am: Begin reading War and Peace.
5:00 am: Stop reading War and Peace after putting his life savings on War.
5:02 am: Rewrite the lyrics to "Why Can't We Be Friends" to match the popular TV show that he should have guest starred in and is still angry about it and writes the creators of the show a letter by longhand regarding the travesty at least twice a month.

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