Monday, September 3, 2018

Fantasy Football Draft pt. 1

     You have the number one pick. The hollow rubber ball is in your racquetball court. The Back to the Future themed playing cards are in your hand. You're the three-time reigning Go Fish champion at your annual family reunion. What does that have to do with fantasy football? Nothing but it's worth a shout out. The fantasy football draft preview magazines are fully stocked, brimming to the top of the woven basket next to your favorite toilet with a Deion Sanders fuzzy toilet seat cover.  
     You are ready to go. You have never been more ready to go in your whole life other than that time you thought you say Jake Gyllenhaal at LAX. It turns out it was just a rogue TSA agent. You were so excited that you nearly sent your Orange Julius sailing into a lounge area like a Molotov Cocktail. That was the best day of your life; the time you almost saw Jake Gyllenhaal. Times were better then. Times were simpler. Things made sense or at least more sense then they do now. Now if you thought you saw Jake Gyllenhaal at LAX you probably wouldn't even take your earbuds out or you would just try to get a video of it to share with your great aunt on Instagram. Instagram is the preferred app of most great aunts; it's their slogan after all. I'm talking about aunts of your parents as well as aunts who are awesome. I'm talking about the aunt who gave you a Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express rotisserie cooker for Labor Day. 
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 

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