Cell phone case with a cheese grater on the back, bottle opener on the side and a miniature panel of pine tar on the other side
Karaoke machine sensory deprivation tank
Body pillow that explains the plot of 80s B horror movies
iPad disguised on the outside as a book from Oprah’s book club
Time traveling Bird scooter
Cheesecake in a squeeze bottle
Self tucking in blanket
Phish tank full of Kombucha, Hacky sacks and albums by only the hackiest of comedians
Fantasy podcast league (Mattie Raspberry is the reigning expert)
Incredibly powerful balloons that can lift your house like the old dude in Up
Tom Hanks’s raft from Castaway except it’s constructed of the Olive Garden’s endless bread sticks
Taxidermy crow that sings the greatest hits of Sheryl Crow
Coffee maker that recommends up and coming local bands
Cat tree for humans
Tree house for squirrels
Gingerbread condo complex
Punch line blender (you toss a regular everyday phrase in and it conjures up a lewd joke smoothie)
Duck tape (pressure sensitive tape that Phil Knight designed)
iPad disguised on the outside as the dictionary
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon
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