Monday, October 8, 2018

Portland Haikus

Lewis and Clark game
Lady kicked over IPA
Forgotten ground crab 

Little person jokes
Rich Eisen is the lone wolf
Bit from Hangover

Jack in the Box late
Postmates viewed in retrospect 
Always a regret 

Eleanor scratched me
Lured me into spider web
Purrs that were just lies

Eleanor attacked
False sense of security 
Evil beyond mice

Never trust a cat that
You think enjoys company
Cats don’t like people

Five hours in the rain
Stopped at McDonald’s en route
Ron owes me money

McDonald’s pit stop
Two McChickens to go please
Luxury tan stools

Mini comedy
Couldn’t believe my dang eyes
Fainted soon after

Ordered two ciders
Finished just one and a half
Someone got free drank

I wanted cider
Who doesn't want the cider
Dreaming of Vermont

Imagine living
In a place where cider grows
On trees but pre-canned 

Jack in the Box came
Dude who delivered seemed like
Jack without the head

Who is Jack's mascot
Maybe it's Lance Armstrong, huh
An epic comeback 

Jack Jack in the Box
Cycling to work, showering
Cancer donation

Cage match, who would win
Jack and Ronald McDonald
Til death or hunger

I bet it's Nic Cage
Cage is most certainly Jack
Neither makes much sense

You have to think that
You're funny to be funny
It's still not likely

Humor 101
First you gotta stop caring
About everything

They want your money
Stain your attitude, no Tide    
That Aerosmith song

McDonald’s lounges
A place to do your taxes
Count calories too 

Eat at McDonald’s 
Start up your 501K
Invest in burgers

McDonald’s is it
For just about anyone
Food pics on the Gram 

Dayglow IPA
Had me glowing, a wrestler
Brie and stale Wheat Thins

Do you have a job
Where you don't do anything?
Where does your brain go? 

We did a podcast
It was the most fun ever
Writing with your mouth
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 

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