Thursday, October 31, 2019

Halloweek🎃Monster Madness

Sword-wielding Sixteen
Werewolf (1) vs Michael Myers (8)
Werewolf wins - Yeah baby, oh behave, sit! Good doggie.
Headless Horseman or woman (4) vs Vampire (5)
Vampire wins - HH loses sight of victory.
Zombie (2) vs Ghost (7) 
Ghost wins - There isn’t a social media app with a zombie logo except for the app for the new Zombieland movie.
Mummy (3) vs Devil (6)
Devil wins - Dickie V announces the bout and calls Mummy a PTTPer (a Prime Time Toilet Paperer)
Frankenstein (1) vs Skeleton (8)
Frankenstein wins - A classic big-small, living dead-living dead size mismatch.
Clown (4) vs Goblin (5)
Clown wins - Everyone is scared of clowns - even goblins.
Freddy Krueger (2) vs Jason Voorhees (7) 
Jason wins - Freddy is stymied by Jason’s immaculate butterfly technique in the net.
Witch (3) vs Ghoul (6) 
Witch wins - All monsters are ghouls but not all ghouls are monsters (like evil squares and rectangles).
Eery Eight
Werewolf (1) vs Vampire (5)
Werewolf wins - Vampire tries to bite Werewolf in the neck but not before Werewolf can rip the fangs out of his face and turn him into a Christmas tree (whoops wrong holiday).
Ghost (7) vs Devil (6)
Ghost wins - Some people argue that social media IS the devil.
Frankenstein (1) vs Clown (4) 
Clown wins - Everyone is scared of clowns - even Frankenstein.
Jason (7) vs Witch (3)
Witch wins - Jason takes a slapshot to the dome and becomes a delicious casserole (how come no one makes casseroles anymore?)
Feisty Four
Werewolf (1) vs Ghost (7)
Werewolf wins - Seriously tho...a dude who turns into a wolf - who’s gonna beat that? Did you see the movie A Ghost Story? The ghost was just hanging out in the living room and watching people do laundry and other mundane household chores...A werewolf would have to kill something, it can’t just kick it and check in on old girlfriends and bullies. Case closed.
Clown (4) vs Witch (3)
Witch wins - Witches are the only thing that CLOWNS are scared of.
ChampionShip in a bottle
Werewolf (1) vs Witch (3)
Witch wins - Feminism, am I right fellas?
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Halloweek🎃Trick or Treat

3 Musketeers...Treat
3 Amigos...Trick
TP’ing your neighbor’s house...Trick
Gingerbread House replica of your neighbor...Treat
Milky Way...Treat
Mars...Treat
Flat Earth...Trick
Kit Kat...Treat
Black Cat...Trick
Almond Joy...Treat
Allman Brothers...Treat
100 Grand Bar...Treat
PayDay...Treat
Universal Basic Income...Trick
M&Ms...Treat
Eminem...Treat
Baby Ruth...Treat
Baby Ruth in the pool...Trick
Babe Ruth...Baseball Player
Trix...Treat
Twix...Treat
Social Media...Tweet
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Halloweek🎃Costumes by State

Alabama - Tide Pod
Alaska - Buck that Joe Rogan slain with a crossbow
Arizona - Sheriff Joe Ar-pie-o (pumpkin flavored)
Arkansas - Bacon Bit
California - Bear from state flag chasing hiker
Colorado - Hiker running from a bear
Connecticut - One Percenter
Delaware - Something Historic
Florida - Matt Damon from Good Will Hunting but on meth so even more pumped up about math (you might even call him a methmatician if you wanna go down that fork in the road)(and wouldn’t that fork give you a flat tire or as I’ve always called it, a fork tire)
Georgia - Football Enthusiast who fears the impending demise of his favorite sport on an intellectual level that transcends the turf - they call him the Turf Transcender
Hawaii - Boogie Board Man
Idaho - Smashed Potatoes (ya gotta get drunk)
Illinois - Corn on the Cob
Indiana - Canned Corn
Iowa - Corn Holders
Kansas - Korn
Kentucky - Horse Whisperer
Louisiana - Theo Von’s Hair
Maine - 10,000 Maine-iacs
Maryland - Crab Whisperer
Massachusetts - Kevin Garnett (you just head butt everything)
Michigan - An Upper Peninsula
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes-iacs
Mississippi - Something Fried
Missouri - Cowboy
Montana - Buck that escaped the Rogan Wrath
Nebraska - A Dad Joke (because it’s corny🌽)
Nevada - Damp Towel that was in Jerry Tarkanian’s Mouth
New Hampshire - Manny Ramirez Truther
New Jersey - Phantom Toll Booth
New Mexico - An Adobe Building
New York - Skyscraper that The Rock climbed
North Carolina - Basketball Player
North Dakota - Small Dust Storm
Ohio - Sitcom Backdrop
Oklahoma - Cowboy that duels with the Missouri Cowboy
Oregon - Granola Bar
Pennsylvania - Allen Iverson’s CORN rows
Rhode Island - An Island Road
South Carolina - Something Glazed (that’s what you do at weddings in the South - give something fried, something glazed, something football-related and something that might be seen as racist if you’re a Yankee)
South Dakota - Mount Rushmore (Jason Schwartzman’s breakout character)
Tennessee - Parton the Interruption (You need a friend who can also be Dolly Parton so you can argue about sports but really, underneath all the X’s and O’s, life)
Texas - Cowboy that takes bets on the Oklahoma-Missouri Cowboy duel
Utah - BYU Backup Quarterback
Vermont - Snowboarder who also loves Manny Ramirez
Virginia - Just get one of those goofy presidential wigs
Washington - Hiker watching from a safe distance as the California State Flag Bear chases the Colorado hiker
West Virginia - Davy Crockett with a bunch of pill bottles hidden in your coonskin cap like a magician would do to a rabbit
Wisconsin - A Rare Cheese that has recently been unearthed by TMcheeZe
Wyoming - 99 Percenter

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Saturday, October 5, 2019

Rules of Acting🎭

1. People who are not actors are not as important as you - if they were, they would be actors - but most actors are not as important as you either  
2. Don’t make eye contact with civilians - they’ll suck your soul out or at least ask for a selfie 
3. Never stop acting - even when the camera stops - just act like a douche when that happens 
3.5 Realize that people don’t actually care about you - they only care about bragging to their friends that they saw you (which is why they want a picture) - you are not their friend and if they knew the real you, they wouldn’t like it
4. Someone is always watching you - don’t disappoint your eternal audience - even if it’s only the lord or a producer 
4.5 If you are playing a nice character, be a jerk around set to emphasize your “skill”
5. Draw attention to yourself - then complain about people looking at you
6. Today is the most important day of your life - until tomorrow - tomorrow is Abs Day
7. Act like an alien when it comes to daily tasks so as to disassociate yourself from “the normals”
8. Feel shame when you meet real heroes like military, firefighters, police, etc.
9. Keep people around you on edge so they don’t figure out that they could do your job
10. Complain about everything in order to elevate yourself above the situation and put others who aren’t complaining down 
11. Make your job appear difficult to deter others from pursuing it
12. The more you can control without doing anything, the better
13. Only talk about yourself or things related to you - if it doesn’t have to do with you, it doesn’t exist - always be ready to strike up a conversation about yourself 
14. You are flawless - if you find a flaw, hair and make up missed it
15. Don’t think about things too hard - that’s not part of your contract
16. Stay in the moment - especially if the moment has a vegan alternative 
17. You are what you eat - your diet consists largely of bits of douche nozzle
18. Be simultaneously needy and standoffish - if someone offers help, it’s never the right time 
19. Always remember that you are better than people and they wish they could be you
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Acting Haikus 🎭

Wait in line, wardrobe 
Get your hair did, wait in line
Circle jerk...a line 

Let’s get dramatic
Don’t be scared, just act like it
Never stop acting

Get a mustache bump
Not cocaine, for your voucher
But do cocaine too

Land of the Shallow
Everything is just skin deep
Ugly ones go home

Do what you are told
Thinking for yourself, a chore
Remember lines, check

Actors, just like us
Pants on one leg at a time
With assistant’s help

A fake difference
Act like you’re changing the world
Battle for the Earth 

Rule one of acting
Put civilians below you
You’re perfect, they’re not

You must be needy
And complain about free stuff
Argue with P.A.’s 

A walking spotlight
Center of attention, chill
Look at me but don’t 

The Pro Pretenders
Act like your job’s important
Role of a lifetime

Don’t trust an actor
Lie when cameras are on
Lie when they are off

You think you’d like them
Action, turn on the fireworks
Cut, don’t look at me

Blowhard douche nozzles 
Are you a blowhard douche nozzle?
You’ll fit in just fine

Insecure, unwell
Random people touching you
Puppet for the pay

You think you know them
Face, name, Wikipedia 
Living room screen friends

Don’t meet your heroes
Break the fourth wall, break for lunch
Face without a brain 

Blonde in to blend in
Beautiful people rejoice
Make fun of the poor 
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Monday, September 16, 2019

Fame

As you wander aimlessly down the aisles of Trader Joe’s, you feel like the whole store is staring at you. An innocent-looking middle aged woman wearing a leopard-print blouse and a matching pair of glasses calmly approaches you with her iPhone in tow, shoulder checking an elderly gentleman as he reaches for the oatmeal. She quickly snaps a selfie photo with your unsuspecting mug crammed into the frame as if she has done it a million times, which she very well may have, what with her thousands of Instagram posts that constantly terrorize her friends’ morning scrolls at Starbucks. You have no idea what is going on as you try to find your way through the maze of the corn section as you forgot that you sprinkled that handful of psychedelic shrooms onto your giant slice of Costco pizza earlier that evening after an epic shopping spree that resulted in several outdoor ottomans, a six pack of lard tubs and a poncho for oversized dogs and undersized people. 
You also forgot that you’re famous. 
Everyone wants to be famous here. Los Angeles is the city of fame hounds. The NFL team should be the Los Angeles Fame Hounds instead of the Rams...who has ever seen a Ram on Hollywood Boulevard? People move here to be famous; that’s what you put in the “Reason to move” section of your taxes. That’s the only reason to live in this town unless you’re from here. The craziest people aren’t the ones who move here to be famous...they’re the ones who move here NOT to be famous (unless you are absolutely loaded and have money to splurge on a beachelor pad (a bachelor pad on the beach, probably Manhattan or Hermosa or Huntington.) People come to L.A. with stars in their eyes, pipes in their dreams and mothballs in their bank accounts. They come here to be somebody. Because when you’re nobody, you have the ability to become anybody - not just anybody but ANYbody and anything you want. 
Why do people want to be famous? Is it a classic, hack American dream or a side effect of our win-or-die-trying culture? Are we not creative enough to come up with anything better? Is it a marker for success or is it, in and of itself, success? Is it the end of the road or only the beginning? Is it so we can lay in bed at night before we fall asleep watching ourselves on TV? Do we want to be seen as being on the same playing field as our role models? Do we think we deserve to be famous or at least deserve to try? Is it the restlessness of youth mixed with naivety and the self esteem movement? Do we want to secure a spot plastered on the walls of our old teachers in between Michael Jordan dunking from the free throw line and Larry the Cable Guy installing a TiVo in an unsuspecting condo in an early reverse-Punk’d reality show test pilot called Prince’d (in the final episode of the pilot season, Prince becomes a helicopter pilot and teaches Bill Burr to come to the dark side)? How did famous people start? 
Jesus was the first famous person. A makeshift selfie stick was heinously wrestled together with tree bark, sap and tears of joy, capturing the entire experience and geotagging it in the Manger with a lit heavenly, halo filter on the fam and some peasant photobombing behind the crib so they stuffed him full of straw and put him in the front yard and that’s how the first scarecrow came about. 
Is there an optimal level of fame? What is the optimal level of fame? The answer is yes and Justin Bartha. Who is Justin Bartha, you ask? Exactly. He plays Doug in The Hangover and Nicolas Cage’s sidekick in National Treasure. His largest credits are both from a decade-plus ago and while he isn’t the star of either film, they are both successful franchises that people love and love to make fun of (but mostly love...if you talk trash about National Treasure, I’ll forge your signature on the Declaration of Independence and have you locked up in the gallows (wait, wrong movie franchise). Justin Bartha has the perfect level of fame - he’s famous enough to be one of the stars in some major motion pictures and yet he probably only gets stopped a few times a week for photos and he can just go about his merry ol’ day doing whatever Justin Bartha does (nobody knows for sure, he’s like a gentle, domesticated mini-Sasquatch who tromps around the Whole Foods food court, silently calculating his next feature film appearance and perusing the dates (what’s a good date look like? One where I don’t get slapped - heyyyyyy!)
Anyway, Justin Bartha is the perfect level of fame and here’s a few other things that are the middle porridge of TMZ. The host of a podcast with 2,700 ratings on Apple. The local meteorologist. The 38th ranked professional golfer in the world. A travel blogger who has appeared on The Today Show with their own line of humorous coffee mugs that include, “Worst Dad in the World”, “Quit While You’re Ahead” and my personal favorite, “Don’t Talk to Me Before My Coffee or Even After...You Know What, We Should Probably Just Get A Divorce.” A regional animal enthusiast. 
But what about me - is that what you’re shouting at your iPhone and hurting the ears of all the people surveilling your life? Sure, you can be famous too - join the fun. Actually, you already are! It’s called social media and the internet. Post all your content, become an internet celebrity, go on Hot Ones, anything is possible these days. Anyone and everyone is and isn’t famous but all that matters is that we are varying degrees of fame but we all agree that we want more followers, more likes, more views, more listens - but why? As the great philosopher Dave Dameshek once said a million times - To what end? 
Well, it’s a trick. Sorry, but it’s all an elaborate hoax - here’s how it works. There are some super rich people in L.A. - let’s call them the Executives. The Executives only speak one language - the almighty dolla dolla bill, yo! So they created this fake, facade, Truman Show realty and called it Hollywood - the entertainment and creative capital of the world - thus establishing show business. Then they tricked some poor, innocent schmucks into being in their little creative projects - let’s call them movies. Now, you might be like, who’s the poor innocent schmuck - I would give my left pinky toe to be Justin Bartha or even behind him in line at the Whole Foods checkout. Well, that’s all well and good and might be fun for a few months, living that Bartha Life #BarthaLife, but the shine is sure to wear off. You know who’s shine doesn’t wear off? That fresh coat of Carnouba wax on the Executive’s daughter’s Porsche. They just keep churning out movies and TV - regardless of whoever is in them. They’ll make you a star, sure, but they’ll just as quickly rip that Aladdin rug right out from under ya - also you won’t even get to star in the new Aladdin! It’s a sham, an extended Punk’d episode - Hollywood will make Justin Bartha think that Justin Bartha is living in a Justin Bartha world and doesn’t give two Justin Barthas if you care. You think you’re a star - you think you’re the next Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts? That’ll never happen again because social media has taken away the mystique of celebrity - now we all just know that Danny McBride enjoys a morning stroll to Coffee Bean but are we better people for it and more importantly why doesn’t Danny McBride step his game up to the big leagues and start going to Starbucks? Social media has changed everything because it’s made the masses realize that celebrities are truly just like us! (Shout out People Magazine!) How come we don’t idolize and bow down to the best accountants in the world or best baristas or whitewater raft tour guides? Because we don’t know who they are because their face hasn’t been broadcast to millions of people around the globe. The Hunger Games is based on a true story - you get plucked and pushed into the spotlight. Can you handle it? Only one way to find out. 
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Monday, July 22, 2019

Wikipedia Page✏️

     Christopher Sean Arneson (April 24, 1993) is an American author, podcaster, actor and stand up comedian. Arneson is from Bothell, Washington and graduated from Bothell High School in 2011 and Washington State University in 2015 and 2018. Chris wrote for The Daily Evergreen, the student-run newspaper at WSU, from September 2016 to June 2017 as a columnist and sports reporter. While writing for the Evergreen, Arneson self-published his first book, Sponge Cake: A Mostly Made Up Story About A Completely Insane Town, an adventure novel set in New England. He published his second book, What’s In The Fridge, a compilation of short stories, poetry and lists, in July, 2018.
     Arneson’s first venture in creativity was his blog, thegoat1.blogspot.com, which he began in August, 2016. He kicked off his movie-based podcast, A Star Is Born, in February, 2019. Arneson moved to Los Angeles in June, 2019 after years of bouncing back and forth across Washington. He began stand up comedy the same week he moved to L.A. and background acting a couple weeks later. Chris’s mom and dad, Kellie and Scott, moved to Spokane, Washington in 2019 with the family cat, Kitty and his brother Nick, 29, and sister Katie, 24, live and work in Seattle.
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Friday, July 12, 2019

Vegas Haikus🎰

Lights flash as dreams break
Money not well spent, hindsight
Overpriced strippers 

The Vegas Locals
Don’t look them in the eyeball 
Raunchy Truman Show

The Vegas Locals
Unbearable desert sprawl
Sold their soul to sin

Driving to Vegas
Treacherous landscape, lizards
Pray to the Car Gods

The Vegas Locals
Half the day spent in A/C
Other in shambles

The Vegas Locals
I don’t trust you, sir or ma’am
Foggy intentions

The Vegas Locals
 A facade of a city
Built by delinquents

The Vegas Locals
Shrouded in controversy
The sun got to them

The Vegas Locals
Blurred visions of past lifetimes
In more mild climates

The Vegas Locals
Made some bad choices, no doubt 
That was just Tuesday

The Vegas Locals
You really have to be sick
No offense, I guess

The Vegas Locals
Horrid desert scum of Earth
That one was too far
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Saturday, July 6, 2019

Fourth of Julaikus🧨

Babe you a firework
Katy Perry knows the score
Songs for the people

Let’s call em “No Thumbs”
Like Green Thumbs but dumber
Cruel, which can be fun

Independence Day
Fun lil Will Smith vehicle
Drove a UFO

The game: Blow things up
The rules: No balloons allowed
The winner: Pyros

Welcome to the 4th
The Vegas of holidays
Pointless and scary

Vegas Holiday
Kill a stripper, on the lamb
Don’t miss the buffet 

Vegas Holiday
Lose your pants in a bet, sad
Truth/Dare, told the cops

Vegas Holiday
Order room service, forget
Punch a horse, legal

Vegas Holiday
Best 48 hours ever
Minus your money

Vegas Holiday 
Run into your long lost Dad
Can’t find the strip club

What if twas the Third
U.S., Tom Cruise joint birthday
Coin Flip, No Country

Light beer drinkers
Thousand mile stares, YouTube dreams
Every day the 4th

They’re puzzle Haikus
Solve riddles, win nothing
Tell no one, move on

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It’s about movies and life
No board game, Sorry

Midsommar Haikus🍄

Midsommar Madness
Like March but with more torture
A. Guantanamo Day B. Vitale’s not THAT bad C. Bust your bracket, face D. All of the above

Cults are frightening 
They take your clothes, dignity 
Plant crops, forced green thumbs

Scary old people 
Leaving us all astonished
Let’s call Betty White

Amish millennials
You wanna build a snowman?
Made of frozen tears

Open mind, wallet
Tithing Much Information
Your cash IS good here

Don’t be yourself, risk
Personal freedom threatened
A. Sandals are required B. Instagram is banned C. Less screen time is nice D. None of the above

Hive mind to the max
Everyone is a queen too
Bohem Craftsody 

A cultish dinner
Every meal let us gather
Awkward eye contact

Pass the bread, butter
Make a toast to that tree there
Enjoy your toast too

Cults can trick ya good
Kill you with kindness and drugs
They got all the drugs

Druggy, hippy cult
Bloody Oath Mary, she’s nice
So many stories

Bloody Oath Mary 
Don’t look her in the eyes or
One microwaved soul

Bloody Oath Mary
Kills people for sport, but worse
There’s a roto league 

Bloody Oath Mary
She loves that Game of Thrones Show
Biopics are fun

Public nudity
All over the to-do-list 
A. Days start to go by B. Between sweep and jog C. Bear Grylls, weird leader D. Some of the above (Identify which ones)

Who is gonna cook?
No McDonald’s on this farm?
Gruel with raisins, drugs

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Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Haikus🦉

Two ships in the night
Pass by each other, waving
Company welcomed

Lighthouses of hope
Scatter dull rocky seaboard
Well-traveled terrain

What is in a word
Spiritual luggage, packed tight
Carry-on wisdom

The owl says, “Haikuuuuu”
The forest bustles about
A rhetorical life

“Do you write?” She asks
“Yes, but not enough” He says
Oxyidiot 


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Thursday, June 20, 2019

A Totally Honest Review of Ma

     The unlikely sequel to the lovable rom com Mother’s Day, Ma leaves the audience crying out for a significant female parental figure to save them from this psychological web of distortion manifested by a slightly turnt Octavia Spencer. A modern-day love letter to social media, the film reminds us yet again that it’s always FaceTime-o’clock somewhere. The gaggle of ne’er-do-well juvenile delinquents listlessly drifts into a predictable pattern of MAyhem as the ghost of Snapchat haunts them at every swipe. There are so many Red Solo Cups in this flick that they should start calling them Red Party Cups (why don’t they do that anyway - who drinks a Red Solo Cup alone unless they are filming a Wrangler’s commercial in the rolling, luscious green meadows Bret Favre’s palatial estate, camping with their giant dogs or playing darts in their man cave with a picture of their high school football coach as a target because they still haven’t forgiven Coach Carter (same name as the Samuel L. Jackson movie but it’s just a coincidence) for pulling them out of the starting lineup in the state championship game for Mullens, who would go on to throw three interceptions and make a complete doofus of himself in the process because that’s what Mullens does, that’s what Mullens has always done, ever since the fifth grade when he guessed that there were 69 jelly beans in the giant jelly bean jar at the school end-of-the-year annual jamboree when there were clearly at least twice as much, but that’s Mullens for ya, always going the extra mile for the chuckle, miming mashed potatoes to Lunchlady Patty being one of his go-to bits when he was in a crunch and in need of a quick guffaw, make it to-go.) (Also, you could buy Red Party Cups at the Red Party Store, which is what they call The Party Store in states that vote Republican.) Don’t see Ma if you have a light heart when it comes to cyber bullying or heart-related injuries but if you like that kind of stuff (I’m talking about the first thing), that’s disgusting - stop putting down Ex Machina. I give this one three and a half stars out of five (as in three and a half ninja stars to protect yourself from that lady who is crazy like a cat.) Ma is a fun moving picture but maybe not the best one to take YOUR Ma to...especially if she thinks Lifetime films can be too violent or carries a tiny dog in her purse or hands out hard candy to underprivileged, disease-ridden bastards.
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Monday, June 17, 2019

A Totally Honest Review of John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

A film noir-infused Grand Theft Auto-leaning, Wes Anderson-inspired, jolly ol’ romp of a moving picture (literally, it’s a non-stop action-packed thing.) Keanu Reeves is great as he renews his role as the guy in the office who everyone is a little afraid of. Dogs are an ongoing theme of the series as a handful of particularly inspired camps of PETA have inaugurated a shantytown on the front lawn of the highly paranoid Jonathan Hwick, a mild-mannered senior pharmacist from Fergus Falls, Minnesota who enjoys taxidermy, going for walks with his litter-picking-up stick and his eleven-year-old Cocker Spaniel, Daniel, and reading European travel magazines by his stone fireplace with a generously-poured tumbler of a rotating selection of red wines from the region as Daniel sprawls out on his favorite rug and adorably kicks whilst dreaming of playing fetch in a meadow.
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Sunday, June 16, 2019

California Haikus🌴

Get your palm tree read
‘Twas welcomed with open arms
Tanned and tatted ones

Lots of loudish cars
Streets humming with excitement 
Valley symphony

Sun screen and Aloe 
Tropical sun shade, Walmart
In N Out car line

Tromping beach to beach 
Malibu’s a favorite
In both song and place

Scientology 
Recruited at Central Casting
L.A. Story 2

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Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Montana


Chapter One: The Table
            Bingo!
            This is the universal call of victory. You don’t have to had played the game to know what it means; everyone knows it beans you won or got something correct or is a dog from an old sitcom. Bingo also means fun and community, though. It means togetherness and civic pride. It means competing and getting out of the house. Bingo is all of those things and so many more.
            “Are you from here?” A pleasant looking elderly lady sitting next to me at the table asked.
            I was playing Bingo in Great Falls, Montana at the Eagle’s Lodge near the river with my grandma, Grandma Sharon. We had just arrived and found a table with some of Grandma’s friends after buying Bingo cards. Grandma purchased three for me and a whopping ten for herself, setting the table for a highly likely win. She arranged her cards on the table in front of her in an orderly fashion, preparing to pay very close attention for a prolonged period of time, something that kids have trouble doing these days which I overheard as I eavesdropped on the conversation of an adjacent table of senior citizens.
            “No, I’m from the Seattle area. Bothell, Washington, it’s nearby. I love it here in Great Falls, though, you have a very lovely city.” I said in the kindest of manners.
            “What was that young man? You’re going to have to speak up; I’m getting my hearing aid replaced next week, these darn things don’t work a lick.” The nice old lady confessed.
            “I said you have a very lovely city.” I emphasized for clarification.
            “Well, thank you my dear. How long will you be visiting your grandparents in Great Falls?” She asked politely.
            “For the rest of the week.” I replied.
            “Oh, why will you have to be leaving us so soon? You should just stay with you grandparents forever.” The senior lady quipped. 
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