🏀NBA 11/30: Blue & Orange Julius🔵🟠

Player of the day🏆Julius Randle (NYK🌃) - 36 pts, 7 reb, 5 ast, 14/24 fg, 6/13 3 pt

Player of the day🥈Anfernee Simons (POR) - 37 pts, 4 ast, 13/24 fg, 9/16 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Tim Hardaway Jr. (Mavs🛩) - 22 pts, 4 reb, 2 ast, 8/16 fg, 5/11 3 pt

LeBron Radar: On his day off, LeBron watched team USA⚽️ and rooted them on by wearing an Uncle Sam suit and celebrated the W by walking around the neighborhood, handing out pamphlets about the squad, toting twin sparklers. 

Quote of the day🧐 “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” - Erma Bombeck

Photo of the day🖼Kitty Chow/RSVPet me🐱🐈

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🏀NBA 11/29: 🦄Porzingi

 Player of the day🏆Kristaps Porzingis (WAS🧙‍♂️) - 41 pts, 4 reb, 3 ast, 3 blk, 2 stl, 12/18 fg, 6/10 3 pt, 11/11 ft 

Player of the day🥈Marcus Smart (BOS☘️) - 22 pts, 15 ast, 8/11 fg, 6/9 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Russell Westbrook (LAL) - 24 pts, 6 ast, 10/18 fg 

LeBron Radar: 21 pts, 7 reb, 3 ast 

After the game, LeBron chilled out by working on a giant snowman mural in his backyard - he’s also making a turkey out of Janga blocks, which occasionally annoys the neighbors. 

Quote of the day🧐 “Principles are the simplicity on the far side of complexity.” - Stephen R. Covey 

Photo of the day🖼Home of the Blue⛅️

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🏀NBA 11/28: Zubac Watch⌚️

Player of the day🏆Ivica Zubac (LAC🚢) - 31 pts, 29 reb, 12 oreb, 3 ast, 3 blk, 14/17 fg, 3/3 ft 

Player of the day🥈Seth Curry (BKN) - 29 pts, 3 reb, 11/15 fg, 7/10 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Grayson Allen (MIL🦌) - 25 pts, 5 ast, 2 stl, 8/10 fg, 7/8 3 pt 

LeBron Radar: LeBron took full advantage of his off day by 

Quote of the day🧐 “I walked into the mall and instantly felt calm, surrounded by all the stores I can’t afford but will browse.” - Unknown

Photo of the day🖼Keep Kraken🐉🥅🏒

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Classic🐐(2017)📺ATH

 My name is Chris Arneson and I am a 20 year old junior at Washington State University in Pullman, Washington. While you might not be familiar with Wazzu, our biggest claim to fame is producing NFL Hall of Fame quarterback and all around class act, Ryan Leaf. Wazzu is also known for cheese and the rolling hills that surround the campus known as the Palouse. I am the man for this job because I know sports and the show’s history better than anyone. I have been watching/listening to ATHreligiously since I was in junior high, making it the longest relationship of my adolescence.  

1. With my incarnation of NBA commissioner Adam Silver, I would use this team to immediately relocate an NBA franchise to Seattle. The Supersonics were an integral part of the city for more than 40 years. I have fond memories of driving across the 520 floating bridge (before it was tolled) to Key Arena with my Dad to watch “The Glove” Gary Payton, Ray Allen, RashardLewis and company. Sure the Bucks and Kings were justbought, blocking a possible move to Seattle. While an expansion team is not recommended as it would further dilute the league’s talent pool, cities like Atlanta, Orlando, and Charlotte perennially have low attendance figures. In the end, I would relocate the Charlotte Bobcats/Hornets to Seattle as they do not have a long history in the city and have not been supported particularly well. And once MJ sees the golf courses out here, relocating this team will be like shooting fish in a barrel. 

2. If Derek Jeter’s Retirement Tour passed through Pullman, I would give him a one year membership at hot yoga. I know he has trouble meeting women, I figured it’s a nice gesture.

Here is a list of Around the Horn Gift Store ideas: 

• Woody Paige Wheel of Fortune – Spin for crazy fun options like: Hear a recording of Woody Paige singing Tennessee’s “Rocky Top” and recite as many games from last year’s NFL schedule as you can!

• J.A. Adande Lounge Guest List – Imagine what it would be like to rub elbows with stars like Craig Kilborn, Matthew Perry, Arsenio Hall, and James Van Der Beek. 

• Bomani Jones Pinky Ring Cam – Attach this tiny camera to your pinky ring to catch vital in-action moments!

• Tim Cowlishaw Travel Guide to Nascar Destinations such as Darlington and Talladega – Don’t miss the Bristol County Fair – home of the biggest ferris wheel in Tennessee! 

• Bill Plaschke Magic 8 Ball Head – Rub it for good luck! 

• Pat Summitt poster signed by Jackie MacMullan – Comes with Paul Pierce keychain from his Celtic years!

• Bob Ryan Life Guide – A book of everything you need to know in life from Boston Celtics 1960s anecdotes to Boston Red Sox 2000s anecdotes. 

• Michael Smith Numbers Never Lie Picture Book – See if these digits are irrational or are they real? Either way, this is “prime” reading!

• Pablo Torre Tips on Living Youthfully – His secret: he juices everything. 

• Izzy Gutierrez Tommy Bahamas Style Shirt – Look stylish yet casual everywhere from Heat games to the beach to the club.

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Classic🐐(2016)🏀

 1. Will J.R. Smith put a shirt back on and will he be in The Land?

2. Update on Lebron's hairline.
3. Golden State's Lineup of Death 2.0.
4. Russell Westbrook and his F.U. to the rest of the league season.
5. Will Steve Kerr endure the Tao of Javale McGee in the bay?
6. Dwight Howard leads Hawks to playoffs, makes All Star team in return home.
7. Is Minnesota ready to take the next step with Coach Tibs?
8. Utah is looking frisky, let's see if the Stifle Tower can take them to the next level.
9. How many bigs will the Sixers keep and how many will they get rid of?
10. Joel Embiid looks huge standing next to Simmons and Okafor- how will he look in game action?
11. De'Angelo Russell social media watch.
12. Are the Suns going to field a lineup of only Kentucky players?
13. Dwyane Wade return to Chi-town.
14. Will Karl Towns and Wiggins be All Stars?
15. Coach Pop and his sideline interview prowess.
16. Craig Sager and his sideline interview prowess.
17. Will David West's ring chasing ways pay off?
18. Boston fans thinking they are the best.
19. Iceberg Slim, The Servant, Slim Reaper, Durantula, KD... Whatever you want to call him, KD is going to be sick in a Golden State uniform.
20. How will Chef Curry respond to the addition of the second best player in the league (behind that guy in Cleveland)?
21. Gordon and LaVine- law firm or dunk contest finalists?
22. Did I mention Russell Westbrook is going to be MVP? He's going to be MVP.
23. Clipper fans being disappointed, yet again.
24. Speaking of which, will Blake Griffin be in a Clipper uniform at the end of the season?
25. The Derrick Rose Trial debacle.
26. The New York Knicks Superteam.
27. Will the ageless Spurs finally slow down and how will Pao look?
28. That thing the players wipe their shoes off on.
29. The scores table.
30. Chalk being thrown in the air.
31. Gatorade cups for days.
32. Kobe Bryant, citizen.
33. What else will Steph Curry hurl at onlooking fans?
34. The Inside the NBA crew and their late night shenanigans.
35. Bill Walton (even though he does college games I am still excited for the return of the greatest hippy of all time).
36. Luke Walton in the post Kobe L.A. era.
37. No look passes.
38. Announcers arguing over the intentional foul rule.
39. Players ripping off the sleeved jerseys.
40. The Christmas Day slate of games.
41. Woo half way there! I need a Gatorade break. Oh yeah...the opening tip.
42. League Pass darlings.
43. The trials and tribulations of Boogie Cousins in Sacto-are they going to hold him hostage forever?
44. Is this the year John Wall finally turns on Washington?
45. Can Bradley Beal play a whole season healthy?
46. Players diving into the stands.
47. What will The Brow look like if he can stay on the court?
48. Box scores.
49. Post game interviews trolled by teammates.
50. One shining moment...wrong level, my bad. Headbands, final answer.
51. Heat checks.
52. Four point plays (I see you, Jamal Crawford).
53. Throwback jerseys.
54. De-fense chants.
55. Will any team challenge the Cavs in the East?
56. How will the soccer moms in Portland appreciate Evan "The Villain" Turner?
57. The Euro Step.
58. Will James Harden go full Amish?
59. The Charity Line.
60. Will Miami be so bad that Pat Riley dunks his entire body in an ice bucket?
61. The Greek Freak and his freshly inked deal.
62. Will Oladipo expand his shooting range in OKC?
63. Will there be enough shots to go around in the Bay?
64. Regular seasons that actually matter.
65. Trash talk.
66. "Hold me back!!!" fights.
67. Whatever Metta World Peace is up to.
68. Phil Jackson, zen master.
69. Madison Square Garden and the Staples Center.
70. Mascots, especially the Phoenix Gorilla.
71. Missing the Sonics.
72. Buzzer beaters.
73. Overtime.
74. The scoring title.
75. Michael Jordan highlights.
76. Wondering how good Allen Iverson could have been.
77. Coach mustaches.
78. The kiss cam on the jumbo-tron.
79. Coaches breaking clipboards.
80. The 6th man.
81. Players wiping their shoes on their hands.
82. The kids who run out and wipe the court off while the game is still going, then a fast break comes back there way when they aren't paying attention and they have to run out of the way really quick to avoid being demolished.


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Classic🐐(2019): After the After Party

 I love this question, it is maybe one of my favorites. I like the idea of reincarnation based on how good of a life you led, like if you did a lot of good things you would come back as a shark featured on Shark Week or the baseball field from Field of Dreams and if you did a lot of bad things you would come back as a blue gummy shark in a college cafeteria or the ol' Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome (a baseball field that appeared on the cover of GQ no fewer than a baker's dozen times before in imploded back in '14 because it lost its prized collection of pocked squares). I think our souls will live on although we may not still inhabit these space suits that we call our flesh and bones. Maybe there is a soul waiting room where our conscious goes to live until we are assigned a new being (and they have racks stocked full to the brim of Oprah's magazines and also a table where you are able to ladle up a bowl of chicken soup for your soul while it awaits its next destination). Like Pete Holmes says, it is always a twist ending! (Watch Crashing now on HBO!...this just turns into an integrated marketing promo spot for Crashing...I'm trying to subconsciously brainwash you into watching season three of Pete Holmes's hit show.) Why would life not have a twist ending? There is no way to know either way at this point so we might as well choose the fun option and play along with the eternal game point of view. Are you tellin' me that LeBron is NOT going to come back as a basketball net or a basket stanchion or at the very least a pumpkin that has been painted like an official Spalding game ball? Who is to say that the life we are leading now is not merely a stepping stone to another stage, then another, and yet again, small wet rocks that let us confidently stride across the stream of consciousness? (See what I did there with the metaphor for a stream and connecting it with the stream of consciousness...this is like an SAT question!) What if this current (to extend the stream metaphor one step further than it needed to go) life is just the tip of the iceberg of existence? 

Clouds could be involved. Maybe it is just a concrete place (well, sorry to nitpick but the ground would probably feel more like cotton candy) like Heaven that we all congregate at (like church...hmmm...) or maybe we get to choose where we will go. I hope that it's a thing where you get to go to an empty auxiliary basketball gym and everyone you have ever met is there (at least the people who would not make you leap out of your undergarments if you saw them again) and you can play ping or shoot some hoops or watch TV or movies or just sort of hang out and chat and be together again. There will also be a phone booth (but not the same kind of phone booth that Colin Farrell stumbled upon in the instant classic New York City thriller about a publicist who picked up the wrong phone at the right time (for the bad guy), Phone Booth) where you can call people who you have always dreamed of meeting and they will just magically appear and y'all can kick it like Pele (and there is a nice lil set up with an XBOX One and some beanbags and a coffee table in the corner so you can play FIFA too if you want...and in case you were wondering, yes there will be some hip coffee table books on the coffee table about whatever subject you would like). 

But picture this. Maybe it is just a big luscious green field and you are holding a Chuck-It and hurling that tennis ball an ungodly distance and all the dogs you have ever had throughout your life are chasing it at once, racing each other to see who can get to the sacred fluorescent yellow Penn first and win your love and it is just an endless loop of that til the light bulb finally burns out. Or what if it was a big luscious field except that it is covered in shag carpet (or Shaggy carpet...it wasn't me...who spilled the orange juice on the Shaggy carpet) and you are dangling a toy mouse just a few inches above all the cats you have ever had and they are all attempting to gather the internal strength to paw at it and half halfheartedly trying to win your love, kind of, if you look really closely and toss the felines the benefit of the doubt.  

But what if you just get to be extremely awesome at drumming and look super cool while you are doing it as a key cog in a Heaven cover band that performs at various concerts around the atmosphere, for example in the summer of 2020 you are slated to headline the Fyre Festival in purgatory. 

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🏀NBA 11/27: LeBros

Player of the day🏆LeBron James (LAL) - 39 pts, 11 reb, 3 ast, 11/21 fg, 7/12 3 pt, 10/10 ft

Player of the day🥈Jalen Green (HOU) - 28 pts, 9 ast, 11/19 fg, 6/9 3 pt

Player of the day🥉DeAndre Ayton☀️(PHX) - 29 pts, 21 reb, 9 oreb, 11/19 fg, 7/9 ft 

LeBron Radar: LeBron had deja vu from playing in San Antonio the same time the next day so he got rid of that by making a three point-casting player on 2K called Deja Stojakovic. 

Quote of the day🧐 “There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days til we start shopping, right?” - Conan O’Brien

Photo of the day🖼🏈Bowl Challenge🏈

Classic 🐐(2020): Great Falls, Montana🤠

  - When people say “Down to Earth” or “Salt of the Earth”, this is the Earth they speak of – people here are so humble they’re actually “Below the Earth” – they have subterranean kindness

- People are nice but they have no choice – no one would stay if they were like New Yorkers – the only people who walk like they’re in NYC are on meth

- Everyone has a dog but no one walks it – they just drive it around town – the only walk the dog gets is to the car – dogs bark at you as you walk by cuz they wanna walk with you – they’re saying “Take me with you!” – is it legal for dogs to drive cars in GF?

- People have a combo of Boston “You think you’re better than me?” mixed with rugged frontier individualism and a Hawaiian pace of life

- Are there sober people here? Do they just melt into the dead grass? Are they so bored that they write great volumes of literature?

- Do people wear masks here just so no one can see that they’re in GF?

- 90% of GF is elderly, fat or has a mullet or some combination of the 3 – what percent of Theo Von’s fan base lives here?

- Sam’s Club sounds like the worst night club ever – “We got pallets on pallets! Dance pallets! Do the Shopping Cart Shuffle!”

- Does anyone move here or do people just wake up like Jason Bourne and start a life?

- Everyone has a pickup truck but no one would help you move (just kidding – people here are nice so they’d help you move – no one moves, though)

- Does someone assign people to move to GF? Who’s the Montana overlord? They probably chew tobacco and wear a cowboy hat unironically 

- Why can’t Grandpa hear anything you say the first time? Is he listening to a podcast in his hearing aids?

- Why is it so windy here? Is the air trying to escape GF too?

- Do you live in GF or does GF live in you? Is it contagious? Is GF the original Covid? Is the West coast the vaccine? 

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Classic 🐐(2021): How to Win Survivor

 

 1. Don’t be bossy early on - don’t be “the leader”

2. Don’t be too chatty and annoying early on 

3. Don’t be too dominant or too pathetic in challenges

4. Don’t be too old - if you are, don’t draw attention to your age - don’t reminisce about the “good ol’ days”

5. Don’t be too lazy around camp - avoid long naps - also don’t do too much and be a know-it-all

6. Don’t brag about the reward and how great it was when you get back to camp 

7. Always take the tarp - expect rain in the forecast 

8. Never discuss missing home or allude to wanting to be home

9. Don’t eat more than your portion - at least don’t let the tribe see you do it

10. Always search for the hidden immunity - don’t wait for clues (like Russell) and don’t share your clues

11. Don’t draw too much attention to yourself - be consistently low-key - put the spotlight on others

12. Don’t start beefs with tribemates 

13. Don’t overthink it or force things - let the game come to you - it’s a marathon, not a sprint 

14. Never admit to being on the “chopping block” - put someone else on the “chopping block”

15. Learn how to make fire before the show begins

16. Make yourself indispensable to the tribe in some way

17. Get the “numbers” - if you don’t have the “numbers”, persuade some people

18. It’s OK to lie in Survivor - everyone does - just be honest about lying if you make the finale

19. Survivor is like going to college - you can be a brand new person

20. If you are rich in real life, pretend you are poor

21. Never give up the challenge immunity at tribal council 

22. Be nice to Jeff

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Classic 🐐 (2018): Black Friday to Remember

 This is a tale of consumerism gone wrong, good turned to evil and BOGO flipped into OHNO. Have you ever strived mightily to purchase an item that is half off only to find that your ring finger had been nearly torn half off in the battle for the BattleBots? What about that winter coat that you have been dreaming about - what if you found out that you had to throw a mean forearm shiver at a nice old lady in her church clothes? What if the nice old lady in her church clothes that you had to throw that mean forearm shiver at was your own mother or grandmother? Would you still be singing the sweet harmonies of the many benefits of North Face's new products or would you grab that nice old lady, toss out your best Heisman pose and sprint through the Walmart like your life depended on it or at least the fate of the Apple Cup? You are Allen Iverson to Reverend Pat's Tyronn Lue as you step over the poor sonofapun to scoop up the newest version of the RoboTraumatic 3000 to take it to the house as the house band plays. In case you haven't participated in the Black Friday festivities in the past few years, they have expanded to quite to carnival type of event as Walmart now plays host to a series of local house bands whose soft melodies are intended to ease the bloodthirsty shoppers into a more NPR kind of mindset. Right when you are about to get your dirty paws on the sweet new robot presented by Apple's emerging rival company, Papayasonic, that will not only clean your toilet but amazingly let you know when you have to go to the bathroom before you even know that you have to go to the bathroom, you are thrown into a tizzy by a polite looking Walmart sales associate named Lizzy. Lizzy is here to be the bearer of bad news. It is at this moment that you realize that Bad News Bears is just this phrase but jumbled up and slightly modified to more cohesively fit a movie baseball team name. You like movie baseball more than real baseball - the action is much more palatable for your short attention span and brief interlude into cinephilia. Lizzy looks at you like she is about to tell you that she has to be the one who will put your brand new Golden Retriever puppy down from a case of Love Overload. Lizzy tells you that that is the last RoboTraumatic 3000 in stock and it has been strictly reserved by a local Scrooge luminary who likes to ruin the holidays of the common folk by doing these dastardly types of deeds. You are nearing the end of your rope, however, as you are at the point of no return, similar to everyone in the bloody store. You deke left before pump faking the package to an unaware store associate who is stocking the shelves with items (more like having items ripped out of her hands by ravenous shoppers who would still tell her that they were "just looking" if she ventured such a query.) You catch a glimpse of daylight as you sprint for the exit of the store, declining the idea of paying for the RoboTraumatic 3000 and opting for the ever growing free route that the majority of the other Black Friday spenders have hastily chosen. *BOOM* You are blindsided by a former high school linebacker, or at least he hits like one. The last thing you see as you crack an eye open to peer at the carnage is the ogre revving up his peach tinted Hummer's Hemi with his key fob and escaping the UFC cage match of a store with nary a rug burned funny bone.      

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🏈AFFL 11🏈

 No Name has a huge week as she swipes the fiver as well as toppling Kirk with help from her Kicker and Defense to secure 1st place with Moose.

Moose uses Prime Time Mahomes and a balanced attack to take down Pink Panthers. Tony Pollard runs all over PPE’s Vikes but PPE ain’t that mad about it - he’ll take the points and the W. 

🐐 Goat gets a monster Kelce SNF game to put away Whammy. Prangsters doubles up VM with an all-time special teams performance - it’s Kicking Season at Bass Pro Shops. And the Tenacious one gets some noice showings across the board to put away B Team.

Happy Thanksgiving to the AFFL - don’t miss the gravy train! 🦃 

🏀NBA 11/26: Jerami was a Bullfrog🐸

Player of the day🏆 Jerami Grant (POR) - 44 pts, 10/20 fg, 3/7 3 pt, 21/28 ft

Player of the day🥈ATL Backcourt (Dejounte Murray & Trae Young) 

Murray: 39 pts, 14/24 fg, 8/13 3 pt, 2 stl

Young: 44 pts, 5 ast, 4/10 3 pt, 14/16 ft 

Player of the day🥉Bam Adebayo (MIA☄️) - 38 pts, 12 reb, 15/22 fg, 8/8 ft 

LeBron Radar: 21 pts, 8 reb, 5 ast, 3 stl, 8/17 fg, 4/4 ft in win @ Spurs 

After the game, LeBron chilled out by working on his Etsy shop - he added a doggle-head of his puppy to the mix, a bobble-head for canines.

Quote of the day🧐 “They came, they saw, they did a little shopping.” - Jeff Klooger 

Photo of the day🖼Golden Wide Receiver🐶

🏀NBA 11/25 🏈🦃: Josh Kiddin’

🦃Day🏈edition

Player of the day🏆 Josh Allen (BUF) - 24/42, 253 yds, 2 pa TD, 1 int, 10 rush, 78 yds, 1 rush TD

Player of the day🥈Dalton Schultz (DAL) - 4 rec, 31 yds, 2 TD 

Player of the day🥉Amon-Ra St. Brown🟤(DET) - 1 rec TD, 9 rec, 122 yds, 1 rush, 7 yds

Tom Brady Radar: Tom celebrated his Bachelor Thanksgiving by eating his first strawberry - he hated the flavor but didn’t mind the texture. 🍓 

Quote of the day🧐 “No decision should be made on an empty shopping bag.” - Donita K Paul 

Photo of the day🖼 🦃Day🦎

Classic🐐(2018)🦃

 Surviving 🦃 Diary

PARENTAL ADVISORY: The events you are about to read about are some of the most horrific, mind bending, godawful things that have ever taken place in the history of birdkind. Please refrain from digesting this meal if you are a founding member of an aviary fan club, really love the movie The Big Year and/or are or have ever been Michael Keaton. 

     It was a fourth Thursday of November just like any other fourth Thursday of November or any Thursday at all for that matter. The little skies had transformed to big skies as they are wont to do this time of year, finally opening up and raining down Siamese kitties and Golden Retrievers, many of whom bickered with each other the whole way to the ground, a downpour of the most Hallmark order. Turkey Town was bustling with excitement for the upcoming winter, the animal's favorite season as they are able to show off their feathers proudly in the annual Turkey Trot Snowflake Ball that is hosted by the local Holiday Inn as many of the participants look forward all year to boasting about their wonderfully comfortable stay at the amazing, affordable chain hotel. A sudden change in the winds blew into town, however, when the Siamese kitties and Golden Retrievers turned into unlucky black cats and big ol' nasty Pit Bulls (and, also, in an incredible turning of the TMZ Thanksgiving dinner tables, the Latin entertainer Pit Bull was there too, juicing up the cats and dogs with his wise fist pump prowess, neck tie that has long been undone and jostled askew through a series of intense thrusting movements that would literally break that dancing Wii game and night club bottle service antics.) In a matter of Instagram stories, a bunch of peeps wearing hats like Pharrell wore at the Grammy's stormed into Turkey Town with menace on their mind, undying thirst in their gullet and a roaring fire in their pot bellies.

     A pile of burning tires, other automobile parts and innocent giblets was about to be set ablaze, the cold flame dancing and prancing through the big skies, carving, slicing and dicing (with more power than an electric knife that could delve through a turkey like a pinky finger ruining an unsuspecting stick of butter) its own path of destruction. The pile fire was started as a warning from the Pharrell Hatters to the honest, hard working turkeys of Turkey Town - Hell hast cometh in the form of a grand ol' feast as the miniature egg timer don bing-ethed and not a moment too tardy. Thousands upon thousands of feathered friends gobbled and gawked as they waddled and squawked towards the emergency exits of Turkey Town. However, in a terrible turning of the illustrious tide, the only bridge leading out of town had long since become fully jam packed in a handful of Twitter Moments as Toni the Turkey, the architect of Turkey Town, gradually realized her blue print for said town was gravely inefficient in all of its beautifully terrible design. The mob of Pharrell Hatters, both anger and hunger climbing the charts faster than Microsoft's stock in the 80s, took their pitchforks and torches in hand and drove them deep into the heart of the ever growing pyramid of poor turkeys who were trying with all their might, digging farther than a 5K Turkey Trot for charity into the depths of despair, to escape the place they had once loved to call home. A lone Pharrell Hatter, gasping for breath, emerged victoriously from the heap of bird brains, holding a gored and ravaged snood far above her head and presenting the foul, dismembered fowl body part as a token of gratitude to the gods of the avifauna to thank them for the bountiful farming season that they had gifted her peoples and all the other farming peoples and thus commenced the annual ceremony that we know today as Thanksgiving. 

🏈AFFL 10🏈

 It’s a four-way tie for first place as the standings take yet another spin cycle.

No Name crushes Whammy as CeeDee goes for album of the year. Moose puts away Goathouse as Mahomies puts in another solid week on the job. as reliable as your car insurance. PP gets enough from Dalvin (Vikes alert!🚨) to stave off DeVonta Smith and B Team on MNF. PPE edges out Prangsters with a couple big games on the ground. 

Kirk nearly doubles up Tenacious with a balanced attack and Hawkeyes doesn’t get quite enough from Hurts and Gibson on MNF to catch Viking Man, who is on a hot streak. Prangsters goes from the bottom to the top now she’s here - with $5 more in her pocket after a great pool picks week. 

Best of luck next week - this playoff race is getting interesting!

🏀🦃NBA 11/24: Avdija See that?

Player of the day🏆 Deni Avdija (WAS) - 12 pts, 10 ast, 9 reb, 3 oreb, 5/10 fg

Player of the day🥈Chris Boucher (TOR) - 12 pts, 16 reb, 8 oreb, 8/8 ft 

Player of the day🥉Jarrett Allen (Cavs) - 24 pts, 13 reb, 5 oreb, 10/12 fg

LeBron Radar: LeBron got ready for 🦃 Day carving by purchasing a real orange/brown lightsaber from the Celebrity Disney Store and a turkey shaped beanie with a snood on top instead of a poof ball. 

Quote of the day🧐 “You never know where a blessing can come from.” - Teena Marie

Photo of the day🖼 Early Christmas🎄🦃

🏈AFFL 9🏈

 The standings get a shakeup as the 2nd place showdowns occur and they were wild.

Moose escapes with an epic comeback victory thanks to SNF and MNF - OMG! Whammy puts down the Tenacious one with four 20+ performances and also grabs the Lincoln note, edging Tenacious by one and yelling at him to not touch his drumset. No Name takes down Goathouse as Josh Allen has another noice game (let’s start reporting when Josh Allen DOESN’T crush the competition.) 

Viking Man is downright on fire as Justin Fields lights up the field yet again and tells reporters, “I was born to play here - on these fields.” Hawkeyes demo’s Prangsters thanks to a balanced attack and a healthy breakfast, brought to you by Cheerios. PP crushes CK as Cordarrelle Patterson shows the world that if you are a wide receiver but feel like a running back on the inside - that’s OK - we accept you as who you are, Cordarrelle. 

Let’s make Week 10 the best one yet, folks - game on! 

🏀NBA 11/23: Ant Man🐜

 Player of the day🏆Anthony Davis (LAL) - 37 pts, 21 reb, 5 stl, 5 blk, 11/17 fg, 15/16 ft 

Player of the day🥈Nikola Jokic 🃏 (DEN) - 31 pts, 10 ast, 9 reb, 12/16 fg

Player of the day🥉De’Aaron Fox 🦊 (SAC👑) - 32 pts, 8 reb, 6 ast, 4 stl, 11/21 fg, 5/8 3 pt, 5/6 ft 

LeBron Radar: LeBron DNP - instead he did some early Christmas 🎄 shopping on Etsy - he also put some of his own products on Etsy, including a hand-woven quilt made of Jeff Probst’s button-up material (which is indestructible). 

Quote of the day🧐 “Tuesday is a huge day.” - Ian Mcdougal

Photo of the day🖼 Mini Fantasy Draft 🏀 

🏀NBA 11/22: Son of a Brun

Player of the day🏆 Jalen Brunson (NYK) - 34 pts, 9 ast, 14/20 fg

Player of the day🥈Tyrese Haliburton (IND) - 18 pts, 14 ast, 4 reb, 7/12 fg

Player of the day🥉Norman Powell (LAC) - 30 pts, 4 reb, 10/15 fg, 7/7 ft

LeBron Radar: LeBron watched Monday Night Football and considered a career in being Matthew Berry’s fantasy apprentice. 

Quote of the day🧐 “My ass may be dumb but I ain’t no dumbass.” - Samuel L Jackson

Photo of the day🖼 Maverick Skies

🏀NBA 11/21: Made of Klay

 Player of the day🏆 Klay Thompson (GSW) - 41 pts, 14/23 fg, 10/13 3 pt

Player of the day🥈Anthony Davis (LAL) - 30 pts, 18 rebs, 12/19 fg, 6/6 ft 

Player of the day🥉Cedi Osman (Cavs) - 20 pts, 12 reb, 4 oreb, 8/17 fg, 4/11 3 pt

LeBron Radar: LeBron DNP in the Lakers home win over the Spurs

During the game, LeBron followed his fantasy football team closely all day and was pretty bummed out all day - especially when the Chargers blew it against Mahomes and he lost out on the $5 for pool picks. 

Quote of the day🧐 “The biggest challenge is always maintaining your moral compass.” - Obama

Photo of the day🖼 Tree Stuffs the Sun

🏀NBA 11/20: Beauty & the Beasley

Player of the day🏆Malik Beasley (Jazz) - 29 pts, 3 reb, 10/18 fg, 6/14 3 pt

Player of the day🥈Anfernee Simons (POR) - 23 pts, 8 reb, 7 ast, 4 stl, 5/6 ft

Player of the day🥉Scottie Barnes (TOR) - 28 pts, 11 reb, 9 ast, 2 blk

LeBron Radar: LeBron watched college football in the snow and wished that on Christmas Day the NBA played its games outdoors in Buffalo - that’s actually a great idea, get the memo, Silver?

 ❄️ 🦬 🏀 

Quote of the day🧐 “Sunday comes after Saturday? Weird.” - Justin Bieber 

Photo of the day🖼 Fighting Icelandics 🇮🇸 

🏀NBA 11/19: Booker It📚

I’m with the Greek Freak 🇬🇷 

Show some respect to the former 2x MVP and let the man practice his free throws - move out of the way so he can do that for 10 minutes or whatever. He didn’t mean to knock your ladder down - get off your high horse.

 ☁️🐴☁️

 Player of the day🏆Devin Booker (PHX) - 49 pts, 10 ast, 8 reb, 16/31 fg, 15/15 ft 

Player of the day🥈Evan Mobley (Cavs) - 21 pts, 18 reb, 5 oreb, 5 ast, 9/14 fg 

Player of the day🥉Kyle Lowry (MiA) - 24 pts, 15 ast, 10 reb 

LeBron Radar: LeBron DNP 

During halftime, LeBron went for a walk around the bowels of the arena to get his 10k steps in - he also stopped by stadium jail and said hello to the “inmates”. 

Quote of the day🧐 “If I have something to say, I want it to be meaningful.” - TB12 Tom Brady🐐 

Photo of the day🖼Flying V

🏀NBA 11/18: King’s Vassell🏰

Player of the day🏆Devin Vassell (SAS) - 29 pts, 3 reb, 3 ast, 11/19 fg, 4/9 3 pt

Player of the day🥈Malik Monk (SAC) - 26 pts, 4 reb, 2 ast, 11/19 fg, 4/9 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Bojan Bogdonovic (DET) - 26 pts, 3 reb, 3 ast, 10/18 fg, 

LeBron Radar: LeBron did a painting where Homer Simpson is eating the ear of a mini donut man called, “Homer Van D’oh/Dough or Evander Homerfield”. 🎨

 Quote of the day🧐 “Probably 90% of my albums have polka medleys.” - Weird Al

Photo of the day🖼Holiday Cup Mayhem 

🏀NBA 11/17: The Good Haliburton

Player of the day🏆Tyrese Haliburton (IND) - 22 pts, 11 ast, 9/15 fg

Player of the day🥈Anthony Edwards (MIN) - 35 pts, 8 reb, 6 ast, 12/20 fg, 7/13 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Steph Curry (GSW) - 50 pts, 9 reb, 6 ast, 17/28 fg, 7/11 3 pt, 9/9 ft

LeBron Radar: LeBron watched Survivor at 8 pm on CBS then wrote a recap about it on his blog, “Buff Buffs, Buffs & More Buffs”.

Quote of the day🧐 “Some people will never like you because your spirit irritates their demons.” - Denzel Washington 

Photo of the day🖼Blue Backdrop

🏀NBA 11/16: 742 Evergreen Terence🌲

Player of the day🏆Terence Davis (SAC) - 31 pts, 9 rebs, 4 ast, 3 stl, 12/16 fg, 7/10 3 pt 

Player of the day🥈Jacob Poeltl (SAS) - 31 pts, 14 rebs, 5 oreb, 5 ast, 14/17 fg

Player of the day🥉Jericho Sims (NYK) - 11 pts, 13 reb, 8 oreb, 5/7 fg

LeBron Radar: LeBron got the Wordle in 2 and texted the results to like 200 people. 

Quote of the day🧐 “Nothing ends nicely - that’s why it ends.” - Tom Cruise🚢 

Photo of the day🖼Vista Prince 👑 

🏀NBA 11/15: Poole Picks

 Player of the day🏆Jordan Poole (GSW) - 36 pts, 13/20 fg, 5/10 3 pt, 3 stl on Bobblehead night 

Player of the day🥈Dalano Banton (TOR) - 27 pts, 9/16 fg, 3/7 3 pt, 6/6 ft, 3 stl, 2 blk

Player of the day🥉Jayson Tatum (BOS) - 43 pts, 10 reb, 14/28 fg, 7/14 3 pt, 8/10 ft

LeBron Radar: LeBron broke out the ol’ Age of Empires computer game and made a Picante red salsa mix with sour cream - classic strategic battle and snack combo. 

Quote of the day🧐 “No dream is ever just a dream.” - Tom Cruise

Photo of the day🖼Porch Pumpkin Party 🎃 

🏀NBA 11/14: Land of Gar/Darius Wrecker🤠

There are two rookies named Jalen/Jaylin Williams on OKC and I don’t think enough people are talking about it. 

 Player of the day🏆Darius Garland (Cavs) - 51 pts, 6 ast, 16/31 fg, 10/15 3 pt

Player of the day🥈D’Angelo Russell & Karl Towns (T-Wolves🐺) - DR - 30 pts, 12 ast, 11/13 fg, 4/5 3 pt 

KAT - 29 pts, 13 rebs, 11/16 fg, 3/6 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Josh Giddey (OKC) - 24 pts, 12 ast, 10 reb, 10/14 fg

LeBron Radar: LeBron DNP with a groin injury 

While on the bench, LeBron played, “I, Spy” and looked for LeBron jerseys in the sections nearby - he found dozens but was appalled by a few Michael Jordan 🐐-themed jerseys - clever but insulting.

Quote of the day🧐 “Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back.” - Babe Ruth

Photo of the day🖼Momma’s ACV

🏀NBA 11/13: Doncic Kong

Player of the day🏆Luka Doncic (Mavs) - 42 pts, 13 reb, 10 ast, 13/22 fg, 15/18 ft

Player of the day🥈Joel Embiid (Sixers) - 42 pts, 10 reb, 6 ast, 14/25 fg, 13/16 ft

Player of the day🥉Jerami Grant (Blazers) - 37 pts, 6 rebs, 13/22 fg, 5/9 3 pt, 6/6 ft

LeBron Radar: LeBron designed his own pair of shoes on Nike.com then just emailed it to his boy P-Knight. 

Quote of the day: “We all fly - once you leave the ground, you fly - some people fly longer than others.” - Michael Jordan 🐐 

Photo of the day🖼Tree Straw/Starblokes

🏀NBA 11/12: Like a Fox🦊

Player of the day🏆De’Aaron Fox (Kings) - 32 pts, 12 ast, 7 reb, 13/19 fg

Player of the day🥈Steph Curry (GSW) - 40 pts (18 in 4th quarter), 15/23 fg, 6/11 3 pt

Player of the day🥉Keldon Johnson (SAS) - 29 pts, 9/17 fg, 5/8 3 pt

LeBron Radar: LeBron DNP with a groin injury 

LeBron worked on his collection of novellas about quiet, bucolic life in Ohio called, “Yolohio”.

Quote of the day: “Life is simple - it’s just not easy.”

Quote of the day pt 2: “Life is short and we should respect every moment of it.”

Quote of the day pt 3: “Life said, ‘You’re gonna be happy but first I’ll make you strong.”

Photo of the day🖼Mega Me 

🏀NBA 11/11: They’re not Booing, They’re saying “Kooooooooozma”

Player of the day🏆Kyle Kuzma (Wizards) - 36 pts, 11 reb, 6 ast, 14/26 fg, 5/11 3 pt 

Player of the day🥈Spencer Dinwiddie (Mavs) - 33 pts, 11/17 fg, 7/12 3 pt, 6 ast 

Player of the day🥉Clint Capela (Hawks) - 18 pts, 20 reb, 5 oreb, 7/10 fg

LeBron Radar: LeBron watched TNF and considered a post-NBA career as Sir Purr, the Carolina Panthers mascot.

Quote of the day: “Be not afraid of going slowly - be only afraid of standing still.” - Chinese proverb

Quote of the day pt 2: “Difficulties vanish when faced boldly.” - Isaac Asimov

Quote of the day pt 3: “You have to believe it before you see it” - unknown 

Photo of the day🖼 ⬆️ My, Oh, My Sky