The Rock

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson wants to represent you.

            “Blood, sweat and respect. First two you give, last one you earn.”- Dwayne Johnson.

            “Wake up determined, go to bed satisfied.”- “The Rock”.

            “You don’t need directions, just point yourself to the top and go.” - Without a doubt the greatest athlete turned actor of all time.

             Dwayne Johnson was a college football player for the Miami Hurricanes in the early 1990s before turning into “The Rock” as a professional wrestler in the WWF which soon became the WWE.

            Now he is the biggest star in Hollywood after a meteoric rise to the top that can be whittled down to one word: winning. Sorry Charlie Sheen but The Rock didn’t star in a hit CBS sitcom; he is actually the equivalent of two and a half men by himself.

            Johnson’s newest summer blockbuster is a remake of the 1980s TV show “Baywatch” with Zac Efron. Efron provides the perfect fraternity brother, Pauly Shore-ish counterbalance to The Rock’s overpowering masculinity and shear muscle. I have never seen a man swan dive so with such furious rage.

             Baywatch’s flavor would be passion fruit, a Strawberry Frappuccino if it was a Starbucks drink and a lettuce wrap with avocado slices if it was an appetizer. If the film was a main dish it would be steak tips with veggie chips, kale ice cream as a dessert and it is Mountain Dew personified. The NBA player comparison to Baywatch is Dwight Howard while if it was a band it would be 311 and the color link is teal.

            But how does The Rock and his latest box office bait relate to WSU, Pullman and most importantly you, The Daily Evergreen reader?

            Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson may very well be our country’s next president in the election year 2020. Check your calendar, April Fool’s Day was a long time ago.

            How much more relevant to you individually could a person get than that?

            If The Rock becomes the next president his first decree should be that you are required to wear flip flops the entire month of July with the punishment being you have to work the remainder of the summer serving snow cones on the beach.

            The Rock would be the first president to do triangle pushups in the oval office while running lines with his acting coach in preparation for his next 80s remake.

            If The Rock is the next president every day will be “Arms Day” in the White House weight room. Johnson’s vice president should be Kevin Hart, his treasurer should be Vin Diesel and his Secretary of Defense should be “The Undertaker”. P.S. did you know Vin Diesel’s real name is Mark Sinclair; has there ever been a guy who looked less like a Mark Sinclair than Vin Diesel?

            If you are still confused let me lay it all out on the table for you; Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson went from being a college football player to a professional wrestler to Hollywood’s most prolific actor to potentially our next presidential candidate.

            “One of the most important things you can accomplish is just being yourself.” - Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

            Be the best version of yourself; epitomize your inner-Rock and shoot for the moon (how has The Rock not had a movie on the moon yet?!)