“Young Money! You dig?” 
I’m
listening.
“Mack,
I’m going in.”
Who’s Mack and where are you going?
“A
millionaire, I'm a Young Money millionaire.”
O.K.
“Tougher
than Nigerian hair.”
Ah.
“My
criteria compared to your career just isn't fair.”
There’s
no need to get personal.
“I'm
a venereal disease, like a menstrual, bleed.”
That
was uncalled for, Wayne.
“Through
the pencil, I leak on the sheet.”
What
kind of flimsy paper are you writing on that a pencil leaked through?
“Of
the tablet in my mind.”
You
mean like the one that Nicolas Cage is after in National Treasure?
“‘Cause
I don't write s---, ‘cause I ain't got time.”
Sounds
like you could use an assistant.
“‘Cause
my seconds, minutes, hours go to the almighty dollar.”
Seems
pragmatic.
“And
the almighty power of that ch-cha-cha-chopper.”
This
sounds tougher than Nigerian hair.
“Sister,
brother, son, daughter, father; mother-f--- a copper.”
Pass.
“Got
the Maserati dancin' on the bridge, p---- poppin'.”
This
book is not recommended for immature audiences.
“Tell
the coppers: ‘Ha-ha-ha-ha.”
What’s
so funny?
“You
can't catch him, you can't stop him’”
Seems
pretty self-explanatory.
“I
go by them goon rules.”
You
would be a good Philadelphia Flyers defenseman in the 1980s.
“If
you can't beat 'em, then you pop 'em.”
Like
Rice Krispies?
“You
can't man 'em, then you mop 'em.”
Like
the janitor?
“You
can't stand 'em, then you drop 'em.”
Like
its hot?
“You
pop 'em ‘cause we pop 'em like Orville Redenbacher.”
I
would like to see the look on Orville Redenbacher’s face when you explain to
him that his name was dropped in a Lil Wayne song. Then I would like to see the
look on his face when you explain to him what rap music is.
“Motherf-----,
I'm ill.”
I’m
boss, man.
“A
million here a million there.”
I’m
rich, b----.
“Sicilian
b---- with long hair, with coke in her derriere.”
I
don’t know what a derriere is but it sounds Sicilian.
“Like
smoke in the thinnest air.”
Aspen,
Colorado?
“I
open the Lamborghini, hopin' them crackers see me.”
I’m
over here driving top of the line Ford station wagons.
“Like,
‘Look at that bastard Weezy!’"
Weezy?
“He's
a beast, he's a dog, he's a mothaf------ problem.”
Sounds
dangerous.
“Okay, you're a goon, but what's a goon
to a goblin?”
Oh snap, now we’re talking goblins up in
here?!
“Nothin', nothin', you ain't scarin'
nothin'.”
You got your point across clearly, Wayne.
“On some f----- bulls---; call 'em
Dennis Rodman.”
One
of the best rebounders to ever play basketball?
“Call me what you want, b----! Call me
on my Sidekick!”
Hey,
you just insulted Soulja Boy!
“Never answer when it's private, d---, I
hate a shy b----.”
I
prefer caller ID.
“Don't you hate a shy b----?”
They’re alright.
“Yeah, I ate a shy b----, and she ain't
shy no more.”
What
is this the 1972 Uruguayan rugby team?
“She changed her name to My B----.”
That’s
going to look funny on her driver’s license.
“Yeah,
n----, that's my b----; so when she ask for the money when you
through, don't be surprised, b----!”
Just go with it.
“It ain't trickin' if you got it.”
Don’t
play games.
“But
you like a b---- with no a--; you ain't got s---.”
Everyone has their personal preferences.
“Motherf-----, I'm ill; not sick.”
Be
thankful for your good health.
“And I'm okay, but my watch sick, yeah,
my drop sick.”
Is
it a Rolex?
“Yeah, my Glock sick, and my knot thick;
I'm it.”
I’m going to stay away from this one.
“Motherf-----, I'm ill.”
Visit the doctor.
“They say I'm rappin' like B.I.G., Jay,
and 2Pac.”
You’ve
heard of some of the greatest rappers of all time right?
“André 3000, where is Erykah Badu at?
Who that?”
I have
no idea.
“Who that said they gon' beat Lil Wayne?”
Nobody,
I’m assuming.
“My name ain't Bic, but I keep that
flame, man.”
Very
nice, very nice.
“Who that one that do that, boy?”
Who
does what?
“You knew that, true that, swallow.”
This
is not appropriate for children.
“And I be the s---, now you got loose
bowels.”
You
should probably get that checked out next time you go to the doctor;
maybe you have too much fiber in your diet.
“I
don't owe you like two vowels.”
Is
this an SAT question?
“But I would like for you to pay me by
the hour.”
Mo’
money!
“And I'd rather be pushin' flowers.”
Six
Feet Under is my favorite Anthony Michael C. Hall show.
“Than to be in the pen sharin' showers.”
That
does not sound appealing.
“Tony told us this world was ours.”
Whoever
Tony is he must have been an inspirational role model in Wayne’s upbringing.
“And the Bible told us every girl was
sour.”
That’s
too bad.
“Don't play in her garden and don't
smell her flower.”
Ha-ha.
“Call me Mr. Carter or Mr. Lawn Mower.”
Call
me John Deere.
“Boy, I got so many b------, like I'm
Mike Lowrey.”
Insert
Bad Boys reference here.
“Even Gwen Stefani said she couldn't
doubt me.”
Gwen
Stefani is the lead singer of the band No Doubt which explains this line.
“Motherf-----, I say: ‘Life ain't s---
without me.’"
This
is so philosophical it hurts my brain; is this Lil Wayne of Lil Aristotle?
“Chrome lips pokin' out the coupe, look
like it's poutin'”
Duck
face.
“I do what I do, and you do what you can
do about it.”
I
do what I do and you do what you can do about it.
“B----, I can turn a crack rock into a
mountain—dare me!”
I
said truth not dare- can you turn a crack rock into a mountain?
“Don't you compare me, ‘cause there ain't
nobody near me.”
I
wasn’t going to compare you to anyone but now that you mention it there
is Kanye, Jay-Z, Drake…
“They don't see me but they hear me.”
I’m
in the shadows like Bane.
“They don't feel me, but they fear me;
I'm illy, C3, 3 Peat.”
I’m
not sure if this is a reference to Chris Paul or Franklin D. Roosevelt but I
love it either way.
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