9:27 AM: Watch English Premier League soccer and chuckle at the flopper mentality.
10:16 AM: Play air hockey against himself and lose. Not even Russell Westbrook can defeat Russell Westbrook.
10:44 AM: Vanquish fear itself into a poof of pleasant, oaky aroma.
10:59 AM: Create an emoji of himself alley ooping a thunderbolt from Zeus over Yao Ming.
11:08 AM: Shave.
11:43 AM: Laugh about how wimpy the players in NFL Blitz are after seeing a YouTube video of a guy who broke his leg and didn’t even continue playing.
12:12 PM: Listen to Bert Kreischer’s podcast while watching a hummingbird feed in his birdhouse and revel in Bert’s peculiarities, authenticity and vim for life.
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