The Pearly Gates, HV
Looks like the free ride is over - time to pay up, you free-loading, everlasting soul biatches!
Heaven will now be costing a pretty penny for its occupants - it will be tough for any soul to find a space to stay for less than a grand a month - this is the big leagues!
As for purgatory, you can find a noice bungalow for about $850 a month but you will have to share it with another soul - careful cuz they like digging into your Cap’n Crunch without asking - and they even left the lid open for the cute lil miceys!
Even Hell is gonna cost ya - they don’t call him the Devil for nothin! It’s gonna run ya about $666 for a tiny studio on the intersection of Fire and Brimstone - careful - it gets hella hot in the Summer! (Don’t worry - it’s always Summahhhhhhhh 😎)
“I couldn’t believe these prices - after gettin steamrolled by that Mack Truck, I thought that would the end of my money woes - boy, was I wrong - you just never stop getting railed by the Man…for eternity”, yells a lonely soul from Poughkeepsie, New York by way of the Bardo.
Speaking of the Bardo, you can find a lovely two bedroom Bardo beauty but it’s gonna cost ya over two grand a month - who has that kind of coin? Especially when you can’t log in to your old bank accounts! Dang humans.
Alas, let’s hope for the best - maybe our souls have souls that won’t get squeezed out by inflation and competition - it’s a ruthless world, after all!
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