Wednesday, August 28, 2024

🏈AFFL Draft Announcer Profiles

 “Shouty”

Age: 39

Hometown: Pensacola, Florida

Education: Florida State University 

Job: Parking lot attendant

Shouty comes from a hard-scramble (scrabble?) background - raised in the swamps of America’s wang, he cut his teeth on jet skis, bleach blonde mullets and red/white/blue speedos.

Callie

Age: 42

Hometown: Chevy Chase, Maryland

Education: Georgetown University 

Job: CIA (confidential)

Callie lives to serve - several of her neighborhood cats frequent her front porch as she hands out peanuts, squeaky balls of yarn and lil saucers of milk - she also hands out newspapers to local drifters who use them to kill the spiders crawling inside their skin.

David

Age: 40

Hometown: Stowe, Vermont

Education: Boston College

Job: Accountant

David enjoys fly fishing, flying his drone and fishing for compliments - he also works as a local rodeo clown, cowboy wingman and part-time reality TV enthusiast. 

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