Brad Pitt Eating Translated

1. Slurping a Jamba Juice smoothie-“I wear expensive jeans and vacation in Aspen.”
2. Devouring a burrito from Taco Bell-“I’m stoned and content and better looking than you.”
3. Munching on an expensive cheese platter-“I once killed a guy in Paris and blamed it on my cousin who looks just like me.” 
4. Noshing on a quesadilla-“I could learn to speak Spanish but I’m too busy doing Brad Pitt things like sandboarding and playing high stakes Rummy.” 
5. Crunching a carrot-“I’m eating this for the taste cuz my skin is already so vibrant and nourished.”
6. Chomping a Ritz cracker-“This is so beneath me, someone get me a glass of water for all this salt.”
7. Chewing a banana-“Nobody looks as cool as me peeling this thing.”
8. Wolfing down a steak-“I didn’t go to college and I make millions more than you.”
9. Gorging on a bowl of ice cream-“My brain has an inner microwave.”
10. Overindulging in a jar of pistachios-“I can even break the ones that are completely covered in shells.”