Sensory Deprivation Tanks pt. 1

     Check your salinity level, it's finally time to hop in the tank again. Time to make like a reality TV show and isolate yourself from society. You are beginning to feel that the amount of time that elapses between each of your floats is getting shorter although you have stayed true to that once a week clip that you established nearly two years prior. The neon lights glow on your spaceship of a float tank as you pop in your ear plugs and take a quick shower, mentally preparing yourself to be completely relaxed and at one with yourself and the water. You wanna be the H 2 its O. If you ever wanted to hear what your soul's ringtone would sound like, dipping your toe in one of these beasts is the only way to properly do it.
     Everything is going fine and dandy once you begin your float until it isn't. Out of nowhere, the water begins sloshing back and forth like you accidentally jumped into a washing machine. The walls of the beast start to shake rapidly, more intensely than any turbulence you have ever experienced, even from that tiny puddle jumper that nearly drove into George Washington's forehead on Mount Rushmore. A miniature wave pool is inaugurated before your goggles. You curse Joe Rogan (also the whole sport of Mixed Martial Arts for some reason) for turning you on to the new age fad. Did you know future NBA hall of famer Steph Curry is a fan of the floating trend? No wonder he shimmies down the court with such grace; his body is in a state of permanent afterglow from his devotion to the wonderful tank and also from being the closest human replica of a catapult that strictly launches three pointers and giggles with the glee of being great.
     You summon the courage to crack open the lid of the tank and take a peak to see what all the fuss is about. What you see baffles your mind, locking it in a Chinese finger trap. As you peak out of the aquatic spaceship, you witness something that would anger you no matter what condition you were in...traffic.

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