Monday, August 13, 2018

Mowing the Lawn pt. 2

     You try to shake the Velociraptor off your Jordans like a Taylor Swift song. You shake the Velociraptor with all your might but you can't seem to break its undying cling. A little known fact about the Jurassic Period is that Velocipators were known to fall in love quicker than any other species of dinosaur. If you ever wandered into a circle of dinosaurs shooting dice or sitting at the bar and watching the game while tilting back some cold ones, you would most definitely catch wind of this phenomenon. Many a yarn has been spun about countless disastrous love affairs with the beautiful creature, love affairs that always started well and came to a conclusion in a fiery orb much like to one that wiped out the dinosaurs. Imagine overhearing next to the Skee-Ball at the local dinosaur Elk's Club which is actually called the Albertosaurus's Club, "This one time I was going steady with this Velociraptor broad, you know what I'm talking about Bill, for a little over a year when out of nowhere, kaboom; I come home from work to see all my stuff on the front boulder!"
     You try to run but all the dinosaurs are faster than you. You try to hide but there is nowhere to hide, not even the slightest hint of a crack in the earth to pencil dive into a turquoise body of water that you somehow knew was there. You try to cry but the dinosaurs don't seem to be too adept at reading human emotions. You are basically a sitting Pterodactyl.
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 
   

No comments:

Post a Comment