Mowing the Lawn pt. 4

     As you ride the Triceratops like a bucking bronco (which is what inebriated Broncos fans called Tim Tebow) you see if you can go Waka Flocka on its voluminous booty. I'm talking about a booty more rotund than the rump of any Kardashian you have ever seen on Instagram or wherever you get your current event news. (So rotund, in fact, that Matthew Berry recently founded a roto league based on the sport (or art?) of scouting dinosaur booties and drafted the Triceratops number one (his team name is the Tush-Rexes, narrowly edging out the Velocirumpters and Derriereodocuses.) The expandable water toy dinosaurs went last collectively. Barney was disqualified for using performance enhancing drugs. In a tragic series of events at the draft party hosted by Berry and his cohorts at Circus Circus in Las Vegas, all participants and spectators were eaten alive by Godzilla. Elizabeth Olsen and Bryan Cranston were not present at the time of the attack as they were in the midst of an eleven hour Blackjack binge at Mandalay Bay. In an even more tragic series of events, Olsen and Cranston walked away from the table totally empty-handed after nearly half a day, but at least they had a belly full of complimentary Mai Tais mixed with a hint of catfish sloshing around like they owned the place.) (OK, OK I'll explain it...Mai Tai, Manti Te'o, Mai Tai Te'o...yeah, it was at least a charitable 5K walk to make it through that finish tape. I'll do better from now on, pinky promise. At least a few kids in The Sudan got some Crocs out of it. And not the dangerous kind that ate the village elder. Why would we donate Crocs, what are we doing here? Trying to wrangle up bad memories? Dang it, see I did it again.)

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