Is he a professor, student or alumnus?
What class does he teach or what is his major?
Has he ever passed out in a botanical garden on campus?
Does he refer to himself in the third person?
What's the farthest distance he has ever driven an ATV?
Is this his golfing attire?
Has he ever yelled at a hand dryer?
Has he ever gone all Ryan Lochte on a hand dryer?
How many times has he dressed up as Uncle Sam for Halloween?
Is he always that guy in the neighborhood with a fake chain saw on Halloween and he runs around scaring all the trick or treaters except with him it's a real chain saw but he just neglects to tell anyone?
How many dogs over a hundred pounds does he have?
How many hunting dogs does he have?
How much does he love Joe Rogan?
How much does he hate it when Joe Rogan talks about hippie stuff and MMA stuff and veers from hunting stuff?
How much does he hate cats?
How much does he root for Odie to someday defeat Garfield in a battle of wits?
Does he watch the show Cops?
Does he have the show Cops on season pass on TiVo?
Does he have a TiVo?
Has he been on the show Cops?
Is he the inspiration for the show Cops?
Is he southern Peter Griffin?
How many gas stations in town is he a regular at?
What percent of the gas stations in town does he know their current gas price?
At what point in the game did he take his shirt off?
Was it out of protest or is the weather just too sultry?
It must be pretty clammy in Tallahassee in late October, right?
What is his view about the Florida State mascot?
Did he do the Tomahawk chop at his wedding?
Has he stolen crab legs from Publix?
How much of that facial hair has he grown since the game started?
When did his hair go grey?
Was it from stress from being a Florida State fan?
Did Bert Kreischer fall into that time machine from the Doritos Super Bowl commercial?
What book is he reading?
Is he an avid reader?
Did he bring the book or did someone just leave it on their seat and forget to ever come back for it after they went to get beers then they just left because the game was such a blowout?
Is he actually reading that book or just pretending to, like he's demonstrating how boring the game is by doing that?
Is this performance art?
Is he just some dude from Hollywood doing research for an upcoming HBO show?
Why isn't he wearing sunglasses?
Did he forget his sunglasses at home, lose them at the game or does he just have an unreasonable grudge with Oakley's after he thought they stole one of his ideas for a design?
Did Wolverine get hooked on good times?
Did Burt Reynolds fake his death?
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon
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