Friday, July 13, 2018

An Ode to 710

The dab was too big. Fritos wrappers lay in wake. Half eaten Snickers bars mean you are not quite you yet. A video game controller for a console you don't own. The dab was too big. We’re gonna need a bigger torch. Feels like I’m in Fahrenheit 451. Let’s get the new Elon Musk one. The dab was too big. Have you seen my Mexican poncho? It’s like a regular poncho. Except not yellow and waterproof and also from Mexico. The dab was too big. Call me the Burger King. You can be my Dairy Queen. The KFC colonel will officiate the wedding. The dab was too big. I love tennis. It’s like watching traffic. With more tennis balls and the same amount of sweaty forearms. The dab was too big. Watching The Simpsons. Now we’re in Springfield. Just saw Troy McClure filming a movie. The dab was too big. Friends with Sharpies. Late night pranks. Get Derek. The dab was too big. I’m a Christmas ornament. Longsnapping a football to Santa, Blixen a blitzin’ and Comet coming around the corner like a meteorite. False start on Jesus. The dab was too big. Where are my keys? What's a key? What's the key to life? The dab was too big. Mariners game over. Didn't see the end. Text the ghost of Niehaus. The dab was too big. Buckle up for a Pawn Stars marathon. Six hours, I love this show. Am I on this show? The dab was too big. Need a new snowboard. Haven't hit the slopes in years. Moved to Florida for work. The dab was too big. Watched a movie. An antelope getting eaten by a mountain lion. Jim Carrey plays both and is tremendous as always. The dab was too big. Need to buy some new flip flops. Can't make up my mind. Invests life savings in Crocs. The dab wasn't big enough.
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon 

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