The plot was too complex and too simple at the same time. Tom Cruise didn't sprint nearly far enough for the audience's liking. Ving Rhames should have delivered at least several additional cheesy one liners in a dramatic manner. Vanessa Kirby most certainly spiked on Google Trends as lonely nerds around the world took to their iPhones once that familiar jingle started playing and the end credits began rolling. Simon Pegg wasn't even close to cheeky enough for a frightened Brit being forced to co-conspire with a mad man in a hooligan-off. It would have been nice if Rebecca Ferguson had more to do. Henry Cavill's mustache set back the porn movement four decades in one fell swoop of the hair follicles residing north of his upper lip; he makes Ron Jeremy look like Ron Swanson just took Quidditch lessons from Ronald Weasley.
Angela Bassett looks great for her age. It was heartwarming to see the Last Man on Earth getting some work since his show has been cancelled. Wes Bentley was distracting because I was trying to remember where I have seen him; he's a classic That Guy actor in Hollywood. Michelle Monaghan was distracting because I was trying to repress the memory of seeing Pixels in theaters and she brought it to the surface, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in all its tubularness.
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