Nicolas Cage looks like he trains in Steven Seagal’s dojo. This plot is about as plausible as the idea of Nicolas Cage not playing the role of Nicolas Cage in a movie. Abigail and Riley are worthy sidekicks in the movie in which Cage uttered the most famous (or maybe infamous) line of his storied career in the theater arts, “I have to steal the Declaration of Independence” then he did a little shimmy like Steph Curry after he just drained a 30 footer in the grill of someone six inches taller than him. Nicolas Cage and Steph Curry would probably be fast friends if they met at a cool Hollywood party that Seth McFarlane sings at. The fact that this film, which is amazing by the way, got a sequel is proof that anything can happen in Los Angeles, the city of angels, buses arriving full of eager individuals ready to prove their stardom to the world and most importantly themselves, way too expensive headshots and broken dreams cast away on the beach in the form of bottles containing resumes, cover letters and both professional and personal recommendations. I would definitely recommend National Treasure to anyone who has ever considered attempting an immeasurably difficult heist that relies upon infinite factors that live far beyond the control of any person so foolish to agree to such a caper that will undoubtedly end up in some type of prison sentence or at least a slap on the wrist and a banning from Washington D.C. I would also recommend this fine feature film to any people who enjoy watching things happen on screen that kind of make sense but it doesn’t really matter because everyone on camera seems like they are having a good time and you are having a good time so it’s all good what more could you ask from a movie stop being so greedy Nicolas Cage has sacrificed so much of his soul’s energy to give you unlimited amounts of joy and laughter on the big screen you should dress up as him for Halloween next year as a way to pay homage. You should watch this movie if you are considering studying history in college because it is actually really rich in that kind of stuff like I don’t know too much about it but National Treasure seems to be pretty up to date with all their facts and whatnot. National Treasure is one of my favorite movies of all time and a classic piece of art that should be celebrated every year; I decree July 1st National Treasure Day in which everyone has the option to dress up as their favorite character or fear being ostracized by their peer group. If you haven’t seen this movie, I don’t know you and I don’t really want to get to know you and to be completely honest I don’t really know how you can live with yourself and look in the mirror with a straight face so think on that for a bit while you eat lunch tomorrow and maybe reevaluate your life and make some phone calls that you have been putting off for way too long now, make a couple investments that might pay off down the road, plan ahead for once.
Follow Chris on Twitter @LilArneson
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