7:14 am: Can't decide if they are doing what they were meant to be doing
8:49 am: Win the award for Best Trainer in Southern California presented by Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke
9:17 am: Get lost in a TJ Maxx
10:11 am: Read to children with terminal illnesses
10:58 am: Forget where they parked outside the Children's Hospital
11:32 am: Discover a new feelings-based diet
12:01 pm: Jonah Hill cheats on new diet because his stomach was feeling empty
12:45 pm: Bring kid to work
1:26 pm: Kid bullied by a hangry post-Crossfit workout Jonah Hill
2:19 pm: Broker a deal with North Korean leaders
3:20 pm: Deal falls through when North Korean leaders try to watch The Sitter but end up roasting Jonah Hill and the United States by proxy
3:41 pm: Text Jonah good news about calories
4:15 pm: Get a text from Jonah saying he's locked into a high stakes game of poker and just bet his 24 Hour Fitness membership, ankle weights and yoga foam roller
4:44 pm: Introduce Jonah Hill to the power of medicine balls
5:55 pm: Introduce Jonah Hill to the power of meatballs
6:13 pm: Update kitchen by adding an island, Alexa and stone pizza oven
6:30 pm: Update Celebrity Death Pool by moving Jonah Hill up the ladder a few rungs
6:57 pm: Show Jonah Hill what the steam room at the gym is like
8:00 pm: Show Jonah Hill where the cookies and cream ice cream is in your freezer
8:32 pm: Read The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway while sipping a tumbler of scotch and eating Pub Mix on their Wayfair luxury leather recliner next to a picture of them holding a 50 foot Atlantic blue marlin off the coast of Saint Martin
8:59 pm: Watch Keeping up with the Kardashians while sipping a tumbler of Mountain Dew Code Red and playing PUBG on their Separate Ways-themed Journey giant beanbag that has a picture of a piano on the wall of a shipping container and a picture of former St. Mary's guards Matthew Dellavedova and Patty Mills playing a hybrid sport of basketball, soccer and rugby called, "Mars Ball" which is Matt Damon's favorite sport to play when he is trapped on Mars and waiting for science-related things to take place in his favor
9:53 pm: Write down their short term and long term goals
10:46 pm: Beat the record for longest game of Clash of Clans while listening to Shpongle and eating some Shmore's
11:11 pm: Brush teeth, floss and wash their face before bed
11:39 pm: Fall asleep with their Converse, jeans and windbreaker on
12:00 am: Dream about playing in the NFL and listening to Tom Brady's marching orders
12:54 am: Dream about starring in Any Given Sunday and listening to Al Pacino's craft services orders (tiger shark steak with a side of surfer torso)
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