“A responsible man” = A man who holds a salaried position near $100k.
“Forgot to reply to your text” = Please stop texting me, I don’t really want to be your friend - if I actually wanted that, I would have seen your name when I scrolled through my texts multiple times a day.
“I don’t have time for that” = My time is more important than yours - you use your time frivolously.
“She’s so nice and cool” = She’s so hot with a bangin’ body but I will begin to resent her after about a decade.
“They party too hard” = Alcoholic who occasionally does cocaine.
“They are grounded and down-to-Earth” = Stoner who occasionally does shrooms.
“Lives and dies with their sports teams.” = Doesn’t have pride in their accomplishments.
*insert obsessed with God remark* = I can do bad things and compartmentalize it and not feel bad because it’s not my fault - it’s His - God made me do it.
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