Addressed to the most dearest and bestest fella in all of Neighborinoland,
Hi diddily Homer!
Neighbor Ned here with an important notice HSA - what's an HSA? Well what else could that be other than a Homer Service Announcement, of course, you silly geese. Hope all is well in the Simpson Castle, thanks for putting that moat in by the by, are those crocodiles of the Nile variety? I couldn't tell as I was too busy scooping up Rod and/or Todd after they were trying to retrieve their baseball that was signed by Kent Brockman, I can't even keep those darn kids separated in the coconut anymore, I'm still a wee bit rattled from the ol' Moat Incident as Reverend Lovejoy and I have been calling it around the pews...That is one gator that this church-going swell guy can go WITHOUT seeing later, thank you very much, although I do think that I noticed quite the swell of the H20 erupting during the Moat Incident, what with the gators who were all in a full rage after you were taunting them with that Tim Tebow Florida jersey and hungry hungry super starving hippos that you haven't been regularly feeding a proper diet of golden marbles, raw fish from the bear Geico commercial and Phish albums on vinyl.
Anyhoot, I just wanted to pen ya this letter to ask a lil favor, the smallest and most common of courtesies - could you find it somewhere in that oversized heart of yours to perhaps, maybe, if you feel like it, not park your car in my driveway? I know that you and Bart just put up that bouncy castle up in your driveway to go with the moat and the whole castle theme in general so I understand where you are coming from...but still. The fact that there is an entire block of free street parking, here on Evergreen Terrace, one of the finest thoroughfares (you could even call it the thoroughfairest of them all if you added an extra scoop of goofy juice to your morning smoothie to spice up Smoothie Hour) in all of the amazing city of Springfield (and certainly better than anything that booger of a town Shelbyville has ever done with their life) makes the pickle that much brinier.
Yours truest,
General Glad, Sargent Splendid, Captain Cheer, The First Mate of Friendship, Your Buddy and Neighbor For Life, Neighborinho Ned
P.S. If you could please refrain from using my sweet Maude's urn as a golf tee, that would be just super...Also, if you could please refrain from hitting golf balls in the general direction of my bedroom window, that would be even dandier.
Buy Chris's books SPONGE CAKE & WHAT'S IN THE FRIDGE? on Amazon
No comments:
Post a Comment