Without any morsel of a doubt, any shred of question, any crumb of concern enough to take a deeper delve into the matter at hand, the winner of this movie was obviously Melissa McCarthy and if you disagree you have probably played the computer game You Don’t Know Jack and not done well or tried to take your dog to a dog park and it was very disrespectful to the other dogs, like super rude and you got banned from the park because the other dog owners sent outraged tweets to the city or went to a Mexican restaurant not ate at least three and a half bowls minimum of chips and salsa before going to bed with a fully tummy rumbling quiet but steady roars of satisfaction about life in general but most specifically the department of complimentary appetizers. Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph are pretty good but how many sinks have they defecated in on camera? *gets a phone call from a friend who works for TMZ* I would like to apologize to all my readers but it turns out that both Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph have appeared on camera several times in which they did exactly that. Yeah, Kristen Wiig had those tiny hands on from Saturday Night Live it was pretty eye opening for all of us over here at the department, a real gut check you might say. Stan Moyer, a young kid from Queens who don’t know any better since he grew up playing dice and hustling on the wrong side of the tracks, was so flabbergasted by these discoveries that he instantly resigned from his position and moved to Peru to build houses for poor people or something. Jennifer Nettles, an eight year veteran with the agency and perhaps the best Connect Four player in the state, immediately quit her job and began traveling the country to visit bowling alleys. Teresa Weathers, one of the members of the company’s loyal janitorial staff, was so shook to her core upon the news that she decided to up and drop everything to pursue her dream of being a millionaire.
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