Saturday, June 9, 2018

NBA Finals Things I Think

The NBA should just straight up dissolve the Warriors (like LeBron's hairline) for the sake of parody
Kevin Durant should give his two rings back to Adam Silver
Draymond Green should make an introductory video for rookies about how to send photos on social media without drawing attention to yourself
LeBron should run for president in 2020
Steph Curry should host an infomercial about how to shoot a three pointer 
Klay Thompson should host a podcast where he just mean mugs the mic and doesn’t say anything 
PBS should remake Reading Rainbow with JaVale McGee and his pet chinchilla as the host
Kyle Korver should go back to driving an RV around the country as he visits national parks, antique shops and wineries
Kendrick Perkins should return to the shadows of a dark alley where he does sharpens his teeth with a pick axe as he lays on a bed of nails 
Tristan Thompson should get back to trying to keep up with the Kardashians and start a beef with Kanye just because he can and he wants to get a shout out in one of his songs
J.R. Smith should do a brainstorming session on a giant map with a ton of pins and string connecting pictures cut out of magazines referring to excuses he can use for what happened at the end of game one
Larry Nance Jr. should slam dunk the frustration of the Finals into the past like a lime into a Corona
Ty Lue should keep his eyes peeled for Allen Iverson trying to step over him in line at the grocery store  
Jose Calderon should find his striped shirt and bright red kerchief because the gondolier union, Back in the Paddle, is wondering where he wandered off to during his lunch break last month 



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