Sunday, April 8, 2018

Who Wins? Mark Wahlberg vs A Teddy Bear

Basketball: Wahlberg cannot sucker punch the ball or instill fear in it through a scowl. Edge: Teddy Bear
Eating hot wings: Wahlberg’s tolerance for hot wings is almost as high as his tolerance for his older brother. Edge: Wahlberg 
Video games: Grand Theft Auto is based on his childhood. Edge: Wahlberg 
Watching movies: He’s in most of them and should have been in the rest. Edge: Wahlberg 
Reading: Words cannot be intimidated. Edge: Teddy Bear 
Writing: Words can be used to intimidate. Edge: Wahlberg 
Listening to music: Bon Jovi is Mark Wahlberg with a dreamcatcher, sunglasses neck strap and Blackberry. Edge: Teddy Bear 
Betting on sports: He would bully Biff into giving him the Grays Sport’s Almanac. Edge: Wahlberg 
Lifting weights: Please, don’t make him angry, he can almost hear us as he’s flipping monster truck tires, writing a movie and mourning the passing of his grandfather. Edge: Wahlberg 
Cribbage: Teddy Bears can’t play cribbage - it’s a stuffed animal. Edge: Wahlberg 

Who wins between Mark Wahlberg and A Teddy Bear? Mark Wahlberg, of course 

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