Thursday, September 22, 2016

The 10 Best Matthew McConaughey Characters

10. Ed (EDtv) - McConaughey is a regular, chill dude in this '90s flick. He wants nothing more than a six pack, a pizza, and good VHS to pass an afternoon. The only problem is McConaughey is trapped in an alternate, Big Brother universe. As you can see he's at a crossroads in his life.
9. Ben 'Finn' Finnegan (Fool's Gold) - Still in pre-McConaissance mode, Matty Matt drifts away on an island of jet skis, Tommy Bahama shirts, and broken dreams.
8. Jack Lengyel (We Are Marshall) - McConaughey comes on strong here as the inspirational coach of the shaken football team. He also points at things with his thumb which I think is pretty cool.
7. Dirk Pitt (Sahara) - Bonus points for the country singer handle here. McConaughey is buried in a pile of dirt in this movie, they should have called him Dirt Pitt. Unless there's a real desert explorer guy named Dirk Pitt that this character is based on, in which case I would like to apologize to the entire Pitt family. Actually, that sounds like the kind of job that Brad Pitt's brother might do- someone get on that. If you hate showers, this is the movie for you.
6. Mud (Mud) - Similar to his previous character, presenting more grubby McConaughey. He's in his element here- living on an island, broken relationships, hasn't showered in months. I'm not so sure the directors weren't just filming island McConaughey skipping rocks and cracking coconuts when he wasn't paying attention.
5. Ron Woodruff (Dallas Buyers Club) - A power play in the midst of the McConaissance, Matty Matt drops the hammer on all of us here. When he won the Oscar for this, his adroitness at shifting to and fro third person brought forth memories of great ones like Shaq and Dr. J.
4. Cooper (Interstellar) - This is your second cousin's favorite McConaughey offering. A strange, dark trip, this is not the movie to watch if you are about to drive by a cornfield or go camping or go camping in a cornfield.
3. Rick Peck (Tropic Thunder) - McConaughey is a man on a mission in this hilarious, star studded affair. The mission? To find that TiVo. The look his face when he rescues this device is priceless- a mix of every human emotion. It was one of the finest acting performances McConaughey has dropped on us since he crawled out of that pile of dirt and into our hearts.
2. Mark Hanna (The Wolf of Wall Street) - We all remember McConaughey's iconic, stirring cameo in this Monopoly game of a movie. Thudding his chest and humming softly, McConaughey may not realize it but he is metaphorically channeling his career's work. Like a metronome, he has slowly, methodically dug his way into our subconscious, like a hummingbird tapping into a tree. Tom Cruise karate chops that tree down before you can say ghost protocol. Or he drives a motorcycle through it.
1. David Wooderson (Dazed and Confused) - Bizarrely, the introduction of McConaughey is also him at the peak of his powers. Wooderson is a role that inspired a generation of sleezebags, though he is creepily endearing. Matty Matt wrote Moby Dick with three "Alrights" in this movie.

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