Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The 10 Best Matt Damon Characters

10. Bob (Stuck on You) - Damon can't seem to get away from Greg Kinnear in this ill-fated Farrelly brothers romp. Like he's literally stuck to him, if you didn't figure out already from the cryptic title. Oh boy.
9. Linus Caldwell (Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen) - I'm sure Damon is great in this trilogy but he is drowning in a sea of A list actors. Get it?
8. Loki (Dogma) - A '90s Kevin Smith religious flick that Damon shows up in with his ol' buddy Affleck. I can't remember a thing about this movie except that Chris Rock yelled some stuff. Or maybe he was just talking.
7. Mark Whitacre (The Informant!) - This is a fun little role for Damon where he got the chance to stretch his talents (and waistband). He's a straight putz in this movie and he plays it great.
6. Dr. Mann (Interstellar) - Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen this old movie: Damon is an a-hole in this movie which is why this character ranks below Mark Watney. I like to think that Damon getting stranded on Mars is somewhat payback from the universe for his betrayal in Interstellar.
5. Mark Watney (The Martian) - Wow does Mark Watney love science! This is a lot of one on one Damon, skyping old friends back on earth through his computer. You'll get to know him intimately, his favorite things to do on Mars, what he likes to grow and eat. This movie is like a long SNL digital short where Matt Damon gets stuck on Mars. Jimmy Kimmel gives apologies to Matt Damon for getting stuck on Mars.
4. Private James Ryan (Saving Private Ryan) - I would say Damon was great in this but I seem to remember Tom Hanks being the star who led everyone to find Private Ryan. Was Damon even in this movie for twenty minutes? If he was, the spotlight was being stolen by America's dad, Tom "Sully" Hanks.
3. Colin Sullivan (The Departed) - Now we are really getting down to it. This is Damon at his best- nitty, gritty, not afraid to fight, cloaked in a thick Boston accent. Nicholson and Leo may steal most of the best scenes in the movie but Damon embodies everything it stands for- being a tough Southie mo'fo.
2. Will Hunting (Good Will Hunting) - This is the classic Damon-Affleck dynamic at its best. Damon is on point as a brilliant janitor. My favorite part about this movie is the late Robin Williams' persistent obsession with the young Will Hunting's genius. He spends many an off hour discussing with his colleague how he can connect with the young man and share his intelligence with the world. He cares more about this janitor than his own students. Maybe he has an unhealthy obsession with smart janitors.
1. Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum, Jason Bourne) - Damon plays the ultimate ninja warrior in these fast flying action movies. Bourne kicks a lot of ass and takes a lot of names, except his own which he could not remember at the beginning of the first movie (spoilers).

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