After a disappointing three loss skid that ended a season that once looked promising, Mike Leach is badly in need of some holiday cheer. Eight and five may look like a solid record in the history books but the ceiling of this year’s team was not touched.
Looking forward to 2017 allows Leach and company a chance for a fresh start in the Palouse, an opportunity for change and to move forward. What follows are just a sample size of Mike Leach’s New Year’s resolutions.
Leach’s first New Year’s resolution is without a doubt swashbuckler-based, in the form of camping out for the premiere of the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean film in late May.
Secondly, Mike Leach should be resolute to have gratitude for Luke Falk, the highly touted starting quarterback who decided to return to Pullman for his senior season.
Coach Mike Leach should be less afraid of speaking his mind.
Next, Leach should explore (the) Amazon to see if he can find any realistic looking Captain Jack Sparrow costumes to wear to Pirates of the Caribbean in May.
Mike Leach should watch all 28 seasons of The Simpsons then explain to his team how Moe the Bartender’s business acumen is related to the spread offense.
Leach should make an audition tape for Survivor, send it to America’s Got Talent casting directors, and film it for Punk’d, all while recording it for his Snapchat channel, “Social Leach”.
Coach Mike Leach should journey to Machu Picchu with a group of long lost friends and ask them how they’ve really been.
Leach should rent an RV, grow a vacation beard, and follow Elvis Costello on tour across nine Rust Belt cities in late June.
Coach Leach should go to the Grand Canyon and feel a connection with those who have traversed to the same location centuries ago.
Mike Leach should start a podcast then tell everyone on the team that he is going to cut them unless they listen to his podcast and tell their friends about it too.
Leach should invest in a line of “Gorilla Marketing” t-shirtsthat have a picture of a gorilla in front of a board meeting pointing at a board that shows company stocks plummeting with a big red arrow.
Coach Mike Leach should eat more fruits and vegetables and watch less reality TV.
Those are just a few of Mike Leach’s resolutions for 2017.
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