10. Zohan (You Don't Mess With the Zohan) - This is why we can't have nice things, Adam.
9. Dave Buznik (Anger Management) - You wouldn't like him when he's angry. It's not as fun when Sandler does his kooky voice after he just lit a squirrel on fire.
8. Robbie Hart (The Wedding Singer) - If this is a real gig I am guessing these guys usually look more like Steve Buscemi.
7. Henry Roth (50 First Dates) - After watching this sand castled, drink umbrella heavy amnesiac anthem I wished to be fated with the same disorder as Henry Roth, the prospective sixth member of The Beach Boys.
6. George Simmons (Funny People) - The not so secret Sandler comedy memoir. Like the real life Sandler, George Simmons is rich, famous, and successful beyond his wildest dreams. He's also been struck with a fatal disease, as has Sandler. Sandler 's fatal disease is not in his body, however, it is in his soul, or maybe lack thereof. This lack of a soul is referring to the sell out type roles (including both Jack and Jill) that Sandler is generally known for since his early career success. Not having a soul is not all bad, though. At least he can afford four basketball courts, two tennis courts, and the pool house that Rob Schneider lives in. Don't feel bad, they let him out for Deuce Bigalow themed parties, which occur at a strangely high rate Labor Day weekend in the Houston metropolitan area.
5. Michael Newman (Click) - I bet of all his movies this is the one that Sandler most wishes was real. If it was between a remote that can control the universe and some hot yoga practicing, sensei's worst nightmare, Chuck Norris fever dream, you would chose Click too.
4. Longfellow Deeds (Mr. Deeds) - Sandler really shows off his acting chops, a rich guy playing a real rich guy, in this role of a goldfish's lifetime.
3. Billy Madison (Billy Madison) - This movie is ridiculous. Whenever you are in the third grade and could beat up the principal, there's going to be a power balance issue.
2. Happy Gilmore (Happy Gilmore) - Sandler finally does what he hasn't been waiting to do for years, punch Bob Barker right in the moneymaker. I'll take Old Men Getting Assaulted for 400. Wait that's Jeopardy you say? Touché.
1. Bobby Boucher (The Waterboy) - Bobby Boucher reeked havoc on a generation of slack jawed quarterbacks in this classic sports rom-com (94% com, 5% rom, 1% what momma don't know; trust me, I ran the numbers). If Sandler could bring half the impact to his acting career that Boucher brings to the skull of his opponents, he would be the next Clint Eastwood.
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