Why do you humans love us dogs so much? Is
it because we are so dang cute? That can’t be possible or else all your living
rooms would be crawling with baby ducks, chinchillas and seahorses. No, it’s
definitely not the cute thing, at least that’s not the only factor at work here
(I’m not going to mince words when I say this so don’t get all offended on me;
dogs are near the top of the animal kingdom of cuteness for sure, without any
arguments except from panda bears, ponies and fools, whom dogs are rank
directly north of except for the fools. Having said that, you would have to be
a complete blockhead if you tried to tell me that your Yorkshire Terrier could
hold a cute candle to a seahorse. Can I get the odds on that seahorse being
cuter than your Yorkshire Terrier? That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call a
photo finish if the photo was of the seahorse clearly smashing the Yorkshire
Terrier in the hypothetical cuteness competition.) Is it because we are so
loyal? That plays a big part in the whole dog and human best friend ordeal but
it can’t be the only factor. Is it because we are so protective? Sure, of
course dogs have the reputation for protecting the house. You know what else
protects the house? An award-winning, world class home alarm system. Order
SimpliSafe now for just $14.99 a month!
No, the real reason why y’all love us so
much is because we are superheroes. Yeah you read that right, stop rubbing your
eyes in disbelief and doing double takes at Rover. We’re not literally
superheroes, in fact no one is (other than Batman; Batman is totally legit, I
saw him one time in the frozen foods section at the Trader Joe’s in Toluca
Lake. He didn’t have his mask or cape but I’m 99 percent positive it was him,
especially after hearing his tone of voice which was more gravelly than a
construction site.)
Listen to my movie and storytelling podcast A Star Is Born
Instagram: @ChrisArneson8
Pick up my books Sponge Cake & What's In The Fridge?
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