1. When I’m not smoking weed it’s like I’m watching just one NFL game - when I smoke weed it’s like I’m watching NFL Sunday Ticket when they show 8 games on the same screen.
2. The “best” part about getting Testicular Cancer is getting to live with my parents temporarily in Santa Clarita and go for a walk with my Mom and/or Dad every day and binge a ton of Survivor with them and spend lots of time just hangin’ put together and chillin’ tough.
3. The only thing money can buy you anymore is Screen Time.
4. The best way to have a short conversation with someone is unrelenting eye contact.
5. I’m a classic romantic - I enjoy smokin’ weed and daydreaming.
6. No one loves a meaningless stat as much as a baseball announcer.
7. If you think M. Night’s NEW movie “OLD” is weird, imagine actually being old - “Who put the elderly Snapchat filter on this mirror?”
8. When I’m CEO of this country, Alcohol shall be made illegal and all Alcohol products and sponsorships shall be replaced by Marijuana like the Lord intended. 💨
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