- When people say “Down to Earth” or “Salt of the Earth”, this is the Earth they speak of – people here are so humble they’re actually “Below the Earth” – they have subterranean kindness
- People are nice but they have no choice – no one would stay if they were like New Yorkers – the only people who walk like they’re in NYC are on meth
- Everyone has a dog but no one walks it – they just drive it around town – the only walk the dog gets is to the car – dogs bark at you as you walk by cuz they wanna walk with you – they’re saying “Take me with you!” – is it legal for dogs to drive cars in GF?
- People have a combo of Boston “You think you’re better than me?” mixed with rugged frontier individualism and a Hawaiian pace of life
- Are there sober people here? Do they just melt into the dead grass? Are they so bored that they write great volumes of literature?
- Do people wear masks here just so no one can see that they’re in GF?
- 90% of GF is elderly, fat or has a mullet or some combination of the 3 – what percent of Theo Von’s fan base lives here?
- Sam’s Club sounds like the worst night club ever – “We got pallets on pallets! Dance pallets! Do the Shopping Cart Shuffle!”
- Does anyone move here or do people just wake up like Jason Bourne and start a life?
- Everyone has a pickup truck but no one would help you move (just kidding – people here are nice so they’d help you move – no one moves, though)
- Does someone assign people to move to GF? Who’s the Montana overlord? They probably chew tobacco and wear a cowboy hat unironically
- Why can’t Grandpa hear anything you say the first time? Is he listening to a podcast in his hearing aids?
- Why is it so windy here? Is the air trying to escape GF too?
- Do you live in GF or does GF live in you? Is it contagious? Is GF the original Covid? Is the West coast the vaccine?
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