101 Gift Ideas for your Grandpa

1. A trout on the wall that sings "Take On Me"
2. The album "The Joshua Tree" on vinyl
3. That picture of Albert Einstein
4. Cuban cigars
5. A book of JFK conspiracies
6. Subscription to Omaha Steaks
7. A Tommy Bahama shirt
8. Leatherheads on DVD
9. An expensive pen
10. World War II memorabilia
11. Tickets to The Zac Brown Band
12. A Green Bay Packers Snuggie
13. Aviator sunglasses
14. A 12 week online course in taxidermy
15. Hot cocoa with little marshmallows
16. Toilet paper
17. "Life is Good" apparel
18. Transition eyeglasses
19. A portrait where the eyes follow you
20. Madlibs
21. Many leather bound books
22. An outdoor shower
23. Caramel squares
24. The hat John Candy wore in "Uncle Buck"
25. A fake mustache
26. Blue contact lenses
27. A German Shepard puppy
28. German chocolate cake
29. Key lime pie
30. A gong
31. ESPN Insider
32. Fishing pole
33. Trucker hat
34. Chia Pet
35. A guide map of New England walking bridges
36. The car from that White Snake music video
37. Ginger beer
38. A wool cardigan
39. The Burger King King's crown
40. That mask from Boardwalk Empire
41. Magic Markers
42. MLB Extra Innings
43. A 365 day Farside calendar
44. Ziploc bags
45. Shaving cream
46. Assorted cheese plate
47. A Bono iPhone case
48. Red velvet pocket square
49. An extendable dog leash
50. Sirius XM
51. A welding mask
52. Burt's Bees lip balm
53. A vuvuzela
54. Braveheart on iTunes
55. A bottle of Jack Daniels
56. Shoe polish
57. Plaid sheets
58. A Santa hat
59. Crest toothpaste
60. Tool box with a picture of Al from Home Improvement
61. Shooting sleeves
62. Reno 911! complete series on blu-ray
63. Blue face paint
64. A punching bag
65. Big Mac meal
66. Snow globe featuring Syracuse, New York
67. A scathing review by Simon Cowell
68. 6 pack of Coca-Cola glass bottles
69. A helicopter trip to somewhere Rick Steves has been
70. Lunchables
71. Matching wristbands and headband pack
72. Crescent wrench
73. Anything Robert Redford has signed off on
74. An inflatable raft
75. A mini trampoline
76. Apple cider
77. A Leonard Maltin book of movie reviews
78. Peaches
79. John Deere tractor
80. White picket fence
81. Knee brace
82. Homemade cranberry sauce
83. Set of golf clubs signed by Ernie Els
84. Margaritaville license plate frame
85. Jacuzzi
86. Blender
87. Italian belt
88. Tevas
89. Phil Hellmuth Poker set
90. Pooka shell necklace
91. Snow boots
92. Age of Empires computer game
93. Mini putting green
94. Livestrong bracelet
95. Protein powder
96. Brightly colored Ralph Lauren polo shirts
97. A parrot
98. Peanut butter from Brazil
99. Men's Wearhouse suit
100. One of those cameras that has a printer and you have to shake the picture til the image shows up
101. A handful of dirt from Ebbets Field
Bonus: Duct tape
Double bonus: A microphone used by Vin Scully

101 Gift Ideas for your Grandma

1. Cuckoo clock
2. Bird watching kit
3. Paris playing cards
4. Ipad
5. Variety pack of herbal tea
6. Starbucks gift card
7. Hallmark gift card
8. Mall gift card
9. Heartfelt homemade letter/card
10. Lebron James black Miami Heat jersey
11. 60 inch flat screen TV
12. Homer Simpson bear claw slippers
13. NBA League Pass
14. Quilt with a picture of a wolf
15. Fuzzy socks
16. Seinfeld season 4 on DVD
17. An indoor water fountain
18. Pastel painting of a forest
19. Frank Sinatra box set
20. 3 day cruise to Mexico
21. Book of Sudoku puzzles
22. Calvin & Hobbes comic books
23. North Face jacket
24. Hiking boots
25. Topographical map of Colorado
26. "#1 Boss" coffee mug
27. Netflix
28. A Webster's Dictionary
29. A tin can full of Hot Tamales
30. Travel Cribbage set
31. Tempur-Pedic mattress
32. A 1986 bottle of Merlot
33. "Friends" themed Monopoly
34. A coffee table
35. A coffee table book of European castles
36. Mini Stonehenge set
37. Lifelock
38. 8 pack of #2 pencils
39. A stapler/staple remover
40. Hipster glasses
41. A growler
42. A "Das Boot"
43. Throw pillows
44. Tickets to Hamilton the musical
45. Tickets to Hamilton the Canadian city
46. "The Burbs' on VHS
47. A VCR
48. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2011
49. HBO
50. A pair of Larry Bird's game worn sneakers from the 1984 NBA Finals
51. A crockpot
52. A poster of The Beatles Abbey Road album cover
53. Dungeons & Dragons
54. An old-timey baseball pennant
55. Lavender handsoap
56. That poster of a cat hanging onto a clothesline that says "Hang in there"
57. Poprocks
58. A new washing machine
59. Dish towels
60. Bath towels
61. Towel towels
62. A variety pack of Sunchips with all the French Onion bags taken out
63. Box of 300 matches
64. A Matchbox Twenty crew sweatshirt
65. An Ushanka (Russian fur cap)
66. Shampoo with real gold flakes
67. A book of weapons used by James Bond & his villains
68. A 16 month wall calendar of Yelllowstone National Park
69. A rock with googly eyes
70. "The Rock" nesting doll
71. Beanie Babies
72. "Now That's What I Call Music" 19 through 23
73. A throw rug
74. Blank CD-roms
75. A Steve Martin movie
76. A Joe DiMaggio rookie card
77. Silly Bandz
78. A weekend in Austin, Texas
79. Superman & Batman socks
80. A teal Charlotte Hornets starter jacket from 1994
81. Yellow Crocs
82. Personalized buck slips
83. The complete series of "Frasier" on blu-ray
84. Outback Steakhouse coupons
85. American Gothic coasters
86. Antique tupperware
87. Kettle corn with cheddar
88. A subscription to Good Home Living
89. TiVo
90. A shower curtain with pictures of fishes
91. Wildflowers in a glass vase
92. The hit single "One Headlight" on iTunes
93. A crayon picture of flowers
94. Flour
95. Fingerless driving gloves & goggles
96. A scarf with a checkered past
97. Sean Connery themed iPhone case
98. A giant spoon
99. Scene-It "Cheers" edition
100. A coin collecting book
101. Holiday stamps
Bonus: Fancy napkins

The Basketball Show Episode One: The East

http://chirb.it/3a852G

Vinsanity Revisted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMrPjl-927Q

     Vince Carter stole the basketball and levitated over a 7 foot 2 inch Frenchman in an Olympic game. What must have been going through Vince Carter's head when he stole the ball? What sane person would ever consider even the hypothetical situation in which an individual jumps over another person in a competitive basketball game? Let alone a person who is over 7 feet tall? Did Vince Carter have any fears in life before that moment, if so were they all vanquished in a moment? Does Vince Carter have any regard for humanity? Would Vince Carter dunk a puppy? How many puppies at once could Vince Carter dunk? Five? Six? Eleven?
     What would have happened if Frederic Weis had put his hands up? Is Frederic Weis still a basketball player? Is Frederic Weis still a member of society? What happened to Frederic Weis's ego after he was jumped over by another man in competition? Was his essence of who he was as a person completely destroyed as Vince Carter flew over his head? Did Frederic Weis's family pretend that they didn't know him for years because it was too embarrassing to walk the streets of France with that last name, knowing the magic Vince Carter had performed? Did Frederic Weis's family start telling people they were related to Charlie Weis instead in an effort to change the subject from basketball to football, hoping the tao of Vinsanity would never haunt their ancestry again? Did Frederic Weis move to a cave in Siberia, grow a beard and long mane of hair like Hagrid, and create a religion devoted to the prophet of Vince Carter? Did Frederic Weis create a time machine and change his name to Kristaps Porzingis in an attempt to get revenge on Vince Carter for what he did to the country of France?
     What happened to Vince Carter in his childhood for him to want to take vengeance on another human being in this manner? Was Vince Carter treated poorly by a tall Frenchman in his youth, thus creating a lifelong journey towards this single instance, when his legs were spread wide and he floated over the head of a 7 foot 2 inch man in a competitive basketball game? Does Vince Carter speak French? Could Vince Carter speak French after he soared through the air towards the rim like the ground was made of trampolines? Why didn't the referees stop the game to take a second to breath in the sorcery they had just witnessed? Why didn't the IOC stop the Olympics to take a second to scrawl a Declaration of Vince Carter on a piece of parchment?
     How can anyone in the history of sports top this feat of athleticism? Has there ever been a better example of the essence of sport and competition, neatly tied together and packaged in a single second? Will life ever get better than that moment for every person who was there to witness? Why didn't Vince Carter run off into the locker room, out of the arena, and through the streets of Sydney, screaming at the top of his lungs in joy? Why didn't Vince Carter move to the Australian prairie and never pick up a basketball again, knowing that he could never top what he had just done? What was going through Vince Carter's mind for the rest of that night? Will any coach ever be able to tell Vince Carter what to do when he knows in his heart that he has performed a miracle? Where does Vince Carter go from here? Where do we go from here?

The Ultimate 2016-2017 NBA Preview

With the first tip off just ten days away, NBA heads are chomping at the bit. KD in the Bay, Lebron defending his ring in the Land, and Russell Westbrook channeling his inner Davidoff are just a few of this season's most intriguing storylines. Let's get into it.

Top Five New Head Coaches

5. Dave Joerger

4. Mike D'Antoni

3. Nate McMillan

2. Frank Vogel

1. Tom Thibodeau

Top Five Rookies

5. Dragan Bender

4. Thon Maker

3. Brandon Ingram

2. Ben Simmons

1. Kris Dunn

Top Five 6th Men

5. Zach LaVine

4. Enes Kanter

3. Andre Igoudala 

2. Will Barton

1. Jamal Crawford

Top Five MVP Candidates

5. Kawhi Leonard

4. Blake Griffin

3. James Harden

2. Russell Westbrook 

1. Karl Anthony-Towns

Top Five Uniforms

5. Detroit Pistons

4. New Orleans Pelicans

3. Orlando Magic

2. Charlotte Hornets

1. Denver Nuggets

Top Five Mascots

5. Detroit Pistons- Hooper

4. Dallas Mavericks- Champ, Mavs Man

3. Chicago Bulls- Benny the Bull

2. Orlando Magic- That Thing Aaron Gordon Jumped Over

1. Phoenix Suns- The Gorilla

Top Five Fan Bases

5. New York Knicks

4. Los Angeles Lakers

3. Boston Celtics

2. Portland Trailblazers 

1. San Antonio Spurs

Top Five Teams with Championship Aspirations 

5. Boston Celtics

4. Los Angeles Clippers

3. San Antonio Spurs

2. Golden State Warriors

1. Cleveland Cavaliers 

Top Five Players on New Teams

5. Pau Gasol- San Antonio Spurs

4. Serge Ibaka- Orlando Magic

3. Dwight Howard- Atlanta Hawks

2. Al Horford- Boston Celtics

1. Kevin Durant- Golden State Warriors 

Top Five Top Five Lists
5. Top Five New Head Coaches
4. Top Five Rookies
3. Top Five Mascots
2. Top Five Uniforms
1. Top Five Top Fives

The 10 Best Adam Sandler Characters

10. Zohan (You Don't Mess With the Zohan) - This is why we can't have nice things, Adam.
9. Dave Buznik (Anger Management) - You wouldn't like him when he's angry. It's not as fun when Sandler does his kooky voice after he just lit a squirrel on fire.
8. Robbie Hart (The Wedding Singer) - If this is a real gig I am guessing these guys usually look more like Steve Buscemi.
7. Henry Roth (50 First Dates) - After watching this sand castled, drink umbrella heavy amnesiac anthem I wished to be fated with the same disorder as Henry Roth, the prospective sixth member of The Beach Boys.
6. George Simmons (Funny People) - The not so secret Sandler comedy memoir. Like the real life Sandler, George Simmons is rich, famous, and successful beyond his wildest dreams. He's also been struck with a fatal disease, as has Sandler. Sandler 's fatal disease is not in his body, however, it is in his soul, or maybe lack thereof. This lack of a soul is referring to the sell out type roles (including both Jack and Jill) that Sandler is generally known for since his early career success. Not having a soul is not all bad, though. At least he can afford four basketball courts, two tennis courts, and the pool house that Rob Schneider lives in. Don't feel bad, they let him out for Deuce Bigalow themed parties, which occur at a strangely high rate Labor Day weekend in the Houston metropolitan area.
5. Michael Newman (Click) - I bet of all his movies this is the one that Sandler most wishes was real. If it was between a remote that can control the universe and some hot yoga practicing, sensei's worst nightmare, Chuck Norris fever dream, you would chose Click too.
4. Longfellow Deeds (Mr. Deeds) - Sandler really shows off his acting chops, a rich guy playing a real rich guy, in this role of a goldfish's lifetime.
3. Billy Madison (Billy Madison) - This movie is ridiculous. Whenever you are in the third grade and could beat up the principal, there's going to be a power balance issue.
2. Happy Gilmore (Happy Gilmore) - Sandler finally does what he hasn't been waiting to do for years, punch Bob Barker right in the moneymaker. I'll take Old Men Getting Assaulted for 400. Wait that's Jeopardy you say? Touché.
1. Bobby Boucher (The Waterboy) - Bobby Boucher reeked havoc on a generation of slack jawed quarterbacks in this classic sports rom-com (94% com, 5% rom, 1% what momma don't know; trust me, I ran the numbers). If Sandler could bring half the impact to his acting career that Boucher brings to the skull of his opponents, he would be the next Clint Eastwood.

The 10 Best Steve Carell Characters

10. Barry Speck (Dinner for Schmucks) - Carell, the shadow king of kookiness, the based god of goofy, the czar of zany, is on his Weird Al in this corn maze of a movie.
9. Burt Wonderstone (The Incredible Burt Wonderstone) - If your name is Burt Wonderstone and you become an accountant, I would count that as a failure in life. I don't trust a guy named Burt Wonderstone with spreadsheets. The only sheets I trust a guy named Burt Wonderstone with are the ones that he pulls out of his mouth endlessly. Someone Teller Penn that these guys need some tips from a professional magician.
8. Gru (Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2, Minions) - Carell voices the hilarious supervillain in this minion teenage wasteland.
7. Phil Foster (Date Night) - There is nothing worse than getting wrapped up in a crime ring when you are just trying to have a quiet night with your wife at the Cheesecake Factory. This fondue is to die for, Vince Young was on to something.
6. Frank Hoover (Little Miss Sunshine) - An outlier in the pre-Booboo era of children's fashion pageants. Do not watch if you are color blind and have aspirations to join the Air Force.
5. Cal (Crazy, Stupid, Love) - Gosling and Carell represent the best cross generational bromance since MJ and Kobe in this silly, dumb, wonderful film.
4. John du Pont (Foxcatcher) - Not as fun of a movie as the title suggests. Wouldn't that be tight if this movie was about a badass guy who catches foxes for a living, though? Is that a real profession? What would you do with all the foxes that you catch? Would you keep them on some sort of... Foxcatcher Farm? I just broke this whole story open! Anyway, Steve Carell plays a murderer who's still breaking in his face like a new baseball glove. You gotta put a baseball in and back over it in the driveway with your mom's Ford Fiesta, Steve. Don't be such a Burt Wonderstone. The last time Burt Wonderstone played baseball, his self esteem magically disappeared. Burt Wonderstone is the Kirk Cousins of magicians. David Blaine is Dez Bryant. Siegfried and Roy are Rob and Rex Ryan, except the Ryan brothers were the ones that ate the lion in their case.
3. Andy Stitzer (The 40 Year Old Virgin) - When I first saw this as a kid, the only thing I took away from it was that virgins religiously follow the television show Survivor. Then I thought about it for a second and realized this was a metaphor for the crux of the film. Survivor of innocence. Maybe Carell is the one that was right in this movie and we're all tripping? His bar for happiness is drawn in cement. Is the point of life to be content or strive for another level of consciousness? Jeff Probst, you Teva rocking, Hippo Grylls.
2. Brick Tamland (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues) - What did Brick really mean when he said he loves lamp? Perhaps he's discussing the plight of consumerism and the effects this has on the younger generation in our country. Or maybe he is talking about the significance of being able to show love and appreciation to others without asking for anything in return. It may be the noblest thing a human has ever done, to truly love an inanimate object such as a lamp, because this individual is putting their neck on the line without asking for a single thing. Brick could be hypothesizing about the effects of social media and the internet on the ability of our youth to have real, face to face interactions that don't have a hashtag. If our youth cannot first love themselves then how will they be able to love another individual. Brick may be commenting on how difficult it is for a young person to craft their self image in a day and age where popularity is based on favorites and retweets. I like to think that Brick was considering the significance of capitalism in defining the aspects of what makes our country great. Sure, it's nice to love a lamp. Next, you can love your car's headlights, then a floodlight, a spotlight, a streetlight, and finally the Moby Dick, stadium lights. But just because you have moved up the ladder, all the way to stadium lights, that doesn't mean you can't always love lamp. Some things never change.
1. Dan Burns (Dan in Real Life) - The most underrated Steve Carell flick and one of the most overlooked comedies out there. One of my favorite movie posters, depicting Carell using a stack of pancakes as a pillow. You ever have a day where you just wanna put your face in a whole mess of Aunt Jemima's? Life is like a pillow of pancakes. You never know what you're gonna get, except that it is probably gonna be real syrupy.

The 10 Best Owen Wilson Characters

10. Gil (Midnight in Paris) - Take a stroll into an age of coffeehouses without wi-fi in this pastel painting of a film.
9. Francis (The Darjeeling Limited) - Can Owen Wilson's nose get any more jacked up? Watch this India-based, brother love story to find out.
8. Kenny Bostick (The Big Year) - Owen Wilson, Jack Black, and Steve Martin is an unlikely trio- what's even more unbelievable is their unbridled obsession with bird watching in this PETA-friendly caper. I don't love anything in life as much as these gentlemen love birds. Well played, fellas. Touché.
7. Rick (Hall Pass) - An otherwise forgettable Wilson-Sudekeis vehicle features two grown men given a "hall pass" by their wives to sleep with other women. Turns out, the women were the ones who needed the hall pass after all. An inside look at the secret life of New England based minor league baseball players. I'm going to call this a baseball movie in the same universe that Bull Durham can be considered one. This is the best baseball movie that Owen Wilson has ever been in.
6. Ned Plimpton (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou) - Take a nautical detour with Wes Anderson in this whimsical adventure. If American Apparel was a person it would say this movie is a little conceited. The red beanie get up is a good look if you are going out with a group on Halloween and want to start a turf war with a gang of seventh graders.
5. Nick Campbell (The Internship) - Wilson and Vaughn reunite in this Google-ized, Silicon Valley Wedding Crashers. These two are Slim Jims to the walking Clif Bars in this office, strolling around with those little running shoes that go over every single toe like they know something I don't.
4. Lightning McQueen (Cars, Cars 2) - Wilson's soothing, Southern drawl headlines this largely overlooked Pixar franchise. Inspired the mostly unknown knockoff flick, Planes. What's next a movie about a house that is taken away by a bunch of balloons?
3. Randy Dupree (You, Me, and Dupree) - Is Randy Dupree the same Dupree from the title of this movie, You, Me, and Dupree? Tune into this classic friend-who-overstayed-their-welcome-and-continues-to-make-everything-horrible-around-them-and-nearly-causes-the-disintegration-of-the-marriage-of-his-friends-who-were-kind-enough-to-open-their-doors-to-him-in-the-first-place trope.
2. Hansel (Zoolander, Zoolander 2) - Who's that? He's so hot right now. Hansel ushered in an era of tough-minded, trash-talking sixth grade scooter gangs. Not only that, he did it all while rocking a dashiki like nobody's business.
1. John Beckwith (Wedding Crashers) - Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn's love song to bros, brahs, and bruhs all across this beautiful land. The first half of this movie is that feeling when you are at the beach and you can't believe how much fun you are having. You are tossing the frisbee around, drinking a couple cold ones, and kicking it with all the old homies. Then, the sun starts to set and you are forced to pack everything up and head on home. You don't want to go but then the lifeguard tells you and your friends that you have to go home now. Rachel McAdams is the lifeguard in this scenario. Life might be better if you could stay at the beach forever but that's just not realistic. This movie is life- it's pretty awesome for a while, then it sort of plateaus, then Bradley Cooper hits you with a vicious blindside and you're left wondering where it all went wrong.

The 10 Best Ben Stiller Characters

10. Mr. Furious (Mystery Men) - Stiller leads a cast of misfit superheroes in this easily forgotten bizarro Suicide Squad '90s flick.
9. David Starsky (Starsky & Hutch) - Stiller plays Starsky to Owen Wilson's Hutch in this microwaved Hollywood leftover. Really, Hollywood? You couldn't come up with a different buddy cop movie idea that hadn't already been burnt? Shame on you, Hollywood. For shame.
8. Roger Greenberg (Greenberg) - Stiller is the main cog of this low key hipster love song. Check it out if you want to know how to meekly socialize with the opposite sex at a casual mixer while dressed like your favorite '80s movie star (Marty McFly, duh).
7. Walter Mitty (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty) - Watching this movie is like spelunking into a R.E.I. catalog while listening to Dave Matthews, wearing horn-rimmed glasses without lenses, and drinking a kale and chocolate chip mocha. Also, you have an ironic greyhound dog (it's wearing a bus driver uniform).
6. Chas Tenenbaum (The Royal Tenenbaums) - Red track suited, freshly jheri curled, with a face full of mania, Stiller is a ball of fury in this ensemble comedy.
5. Greg Focker (Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, Little Fockers) - A joke about a man being a nurse stretched into a trilogy of pain. Jinxy cat, the Jalen Rose of celebrity felines, inspired a generation of namesakes.
4. Larry Daley (Night at the Museum, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb) - This movie is a metaphor for life. Sleepwalk through the days and everything seems dull, half dead. Use your imagination and the night will light up your world. This is the series to check out if you want to see milk come out of Genghis Khan's nose because he's laughing so hard.
3. Tugg Speedman (Tropic Thunder) - Stiller goes boldly where no man has ever dared in this hilarious romp. Huge explosions, lost TiVos, dancing T-Cruise, coked out Jack Black, Robert Downey Sammy Davis Jr... This movie's got it all.
2. Derek Zoolander (Zoolander, Zoolander 2) - Star of the eponymous franchise, Derek Zoolander is eerily clairvoyant of the Kardashianized country we have built. Zoolander would certainly be insta-famous if the app had existed in 2001. His life is one long Snapchat story.
1. White Goodman (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story) - Hands down the most quotable, lovable, hateable, polarizing, de-Polar (cap) Icing character of all time. Globo Gym emperor, rival of the despised Average Joe's, will not rest until he is done with this set of calf raises. Yeah, that's right he's been doing calf raises this whole time, you didn't notice? White Goodman's calves look like they are trying to escape his body and move to Phoenix to retire. Then, when the left calf is very old and sick, lying on her deathbed, a single tear will drop from her calf face. And she will look at right calf, waiting patiently by her side, and ask if this was everything he had ever hoped for. And the right calf will playfully razz her, saying that he never had a choice but to be with her. And when she shuts her calf eyes for the final time, he will look out into the great beyond and below to the heavens. Why her, why not him first? Why does it have to be this way? What did he do to deserve all that has happened to him in this life? What is it that we are searching, he asks nobody. Then he hops home, calf face trained on the ground, calf eyes still misty. He thinks about the time left calf got hit right in the face by an errant soccer ball. He chuckles to himself. Left calf may be gone, but her memories will always be with him. He carries that in his calf pocket like a lucky charm. Some people look at a glass of water and say it half full. He says it's calf full.

Why Sports Matter

     So, sports don't matter? Tell that to the seventeen year old kid from the wrong side of the tracks who is trying to make it in life. This isn't such a sure thing. He lives with his grandmother since his mother has ditched the family and he has never met his father. His two older brothers have been in and out of the prison system for slinging drugs. He probably would have gone down the same path if it weren't for his commitment to his football team as well as his future. Before he joined the team when he was 13, he struggled mightily with his academics, constantly falling asleep in class, that is if he showed up at all. But that won't fly anymore, now that he's on the football team he has to maintain a 2.5 gpa to be able to participate. Odds are he never would have made it to college, probably wouldn't have even visited if it weren't for the stack of letters his coach had received from interested coaches. After discussing what would be the best option for him and his family with his coach, the player settles on the University of Michigan and a shot at being paid millions to play the game he loves. Without football carving a path through his life, he might have been a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or a lawyer. Or he could have ended up like his two older brothers. We'll never know. What we do know is sports made him strong.

     Still don't think sports matter? Consider the middle aged stock broker who is going through a mid life crisis. He has problems communicating with his wife and children, his boss doesn't respect him, and he hates his job. The only thing that gets him through each day is knowing that a Sportscenter and a cold one are waiting for him in his den. Ah, the den. Where he can be king of his domain, where his wife can't yell at him to wash the dishes or take out the trash. His time in the den is a time to relive his past glorious sports memories. The time he led his basketball team to a state championship by scoring 14 points in the last three minutes of the final game? Just flashed before his eyes as highlights of that night's Clippers-Bulls game showed. It's good to be king.

     Well, you're a tough cookie on this whole sports issue, aren't you? Have you thought about the 12 year old girl who's father only seems to be around when her softball team is playing? No her family isn't poor and Dad didn't skip out on them, he has to travel constantly for work. He uses the one or two days off a week that he can get to coach his daughter's softball team. They are the best in the city after going nearly undefeated last year. He is a proud coach and an even prouder father. He brags to the other dads that his daughter learned how to pitch at a Jenny Finch summer camp. He tells his co-workers about his daughter making the all star team and throwing a complete game shutout in the championship. She knows that her father has to travel to work to provide for her family but she still wishes he could be around more. It just makes the days that he is able to be around for he games that much sweeter. Game days have taken on a new significance in her life as they are now connected with thoughts of spending time with her father. Years later, after her playing days are over and since Dad has passed, she harkens back to her halcyon softball playing days. A single tear comes down her face before she gathers herself, making sure not to lose it in front of her own daughter. They get in the car and drive to softball practice.

     Being the mascot of a college team is a sweaty, thankless job. 'Butch', the Washington State Cougar mascot, peels his eyes open and rolls over to glance at his alarm clock which reads 8:56 am. It's Saturday and gametime is 7 pm. Butch hops out of bed and does thirty push-ups before making bacon and eggs for breakfast. He has a quiet morning of watching college football while studying for his upcoming Biology exam. At about 1:30, Butch goes to the student recreational center to run on the treadmill and lift weights. It's a lonely existence, being the student mascot. He is unable to tell anyone he meets at the university what he is doing in his spare time. He hasn't even told his parents about his true identity, per the university mascot guidelines. Butch arrives back at his apartment at about 3 to shower, eat, and do his pre-game routine. He has to be at the stadium to interact with tailgaters at 4. Butch gets dressed in his usual shorts and tank top before taking a shot of Jack Daniels and heading to the mascot locker room. After suiting up, Butch steps into the outside world, a masked man. He is no longer an inividual who has wants and needs. As Butch, his desires have become melded with those of WSU students and fans. He represents a larger being. He is the great connector, the almighty maven, the connoisseur of crowds. Without sports, Butch is just like every other student at the university. When he puts on that mascot head, he finds himself, his true id. Days when he gets to wear the head are the best because he can mask his true emotions, which he has always had trouble sharing with others. Hiding in the cougar head, he can dance like no one is watching because in a way, no one is.

     Still not convinced that sports mean something? Perhaps you have a sweet spot for old ladies who scan tickets at your favorite sporting event. The one who's husband passed away a few years ago. His favorite team was the Chicago Bears. Now, as a way of remembering and honoring her fallen husband, the nice widow makes the 40 minute drive to Soldier Field eight Sundays every Autumn. The smell of the stadium food, her chilled breath in the air, the family of five sitting together in her section- everything about this place reminds her of her husband. She considers these home games as quality time spent together with him. In a way it is, since she spread his ashes on the sideline her first day when no one was looking. It was her way of thanking him for always being there. And now he always will be there, at Soldier Field, with the woman and team he loved, eight Sundays every Autumn. Sundays are her favorite days. They were his, too.

The 10 Best Will Ferrell Characters

10. Mustafa (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me) - Ferrell's breakout role comes as the wacky henchman who refuses to die. This character's goofy obliviousness would lay the outline for the rest of Ferrell's comedic career. The beating he takes is emblematic of what it's like to be someone trying to make it in Hollywood. You may get thrown off a mountain but it's all about how you bounce back.
9. Chazz Michael Michaels (Blades of Glory) - Ferrell shows off his figure skating chops in this underrated comedy. The movie got good reviews for the most part except for the Russian judges.
8. Chazz Reinhold (Wedding Crashers) - Bathrobed, with three day stubble, and a penchant for meatloaf (not the singer), Ferrell is walking Mountain Dew in this hilarious comedy caper.
7. Buddy (Elf) - This is your step sister's favorite Will Ferrell movie and you are starting to get tired of watching it twice every Christmas. At least this character didn't spawn a generation of weird guys at the mall dressed in a full elf outfit in the middle of July. Oh, wait.
6. Mugatu (Zoolander, Zoolander 2) - Not to be confused with Mustafa, this is Mugatu, the fashion frenzied, lap dog loving, white chocolate cappuccino of a man.
5. Detective Allen Gamble (The Other Guys) - Ferrell is a more reserved, laid back version of himself, the straight man to Mark Wahlberg's peacock induced madness.
4. Brennan Huff (Step Brothers) - Ferrell plays a somewhat developmentally delayed 40 year old man child in this sleeper, cult classic. Comedy sparring with John C. Reilly, this film is a glimpse into what it might be like to be in eighth grade once and never change that mindset. Your life is one long Shark Week, interspersed with episodes of Cops.
3. Frank 'the Tank' (Old School) - Frank 'the Tank' is a beloved Will Ferrell character and will be enshrined in the memories of those who have witnessed his glory. We all have a Frank 'the Tank' inside our hearts, sometimes locked away with the key hidden in one of the bushes by the fence, but you can't remember which one. When you suffocate the tank, as Frank does in his personal life, there is only one thing that can result from this. One of these nights you will let your guard down and the tank will ram its way through the walls and over the moat, storming the castle of your id. Then you will only be left to witness the path of destruction that is laid down by the mighty tank.
2. Ricky Bobby (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby) - There's a moment in this film when Ricky Bobby's rascal father tries to get him to drive with a tiger to calm his fears of racing. Since Ricky is so distracted by the tiger in the backseat of his car, he all but forgets about his fears and struggles with driving. Sometimes I feel like I have a tiger in the backseat of my conscience, clawing at my seat and breathing down my neck. It's a privilege to have this tiger, though, because what else would you want in the backseat of your conscience? A peacock? The only way to get anything accomplished in this world is to have the tiger in your backseat because then you know for sure you'll never fall asleep at the wheel.
1. Ron Burgundy (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues) - I am Ron Burgundy? This is a question so complex, so intricate in its reach, it should be discussed at every major international meeting of significance. Are you Ron Burgundy? Why does Ron Burgundy not know that he, in fact, is Ron Burgundy? Maybe he is embarrassed by his choices that he has made in life up to that point. There was the time in 4th grade when he cheated off Billy Medina's geography quiz. The time he left Julie Yaeger at the 11th grade homecoming dance because he thought he had a chance with Chelsea Fuller. The time he let Baxter eat a whole wheel of cheese (although, to be fair, he was more impressed than anything). We have all ditched a Julie Yaeger for a Chelsea Fuller at some point in our lives. Mistakes will be made, but that doesn't mean that regret is necessary. We cannot let our misteps define who we are or interfere in the least with our character. We will not let the mistakes that we have made in our long lives shake the self image of what we believe ourself to be. I am Ron Burgundy? No, I am Ron Burgundy. You are Ron Burgundy. We are all Ron Burgundy.

The 10 Best Matthew McConaughey Characters

10. Ed (EDtv) - McConaughey is a regular, chill dude in this '90s flick. He wants nothing more than a six pack, a pizza, and good VHS to pass an afternoon. The only problem is McConaughey is trapped in an alternate, Big Brother universe. As you can see he's at a crossroads in his life.
9. Ben 'Finn' Finnegan (Fool's Gold) - Still in pre-McConaissance mode, Matty Matt drifts away on an island of jet skis, Tommy Bahama shirts, and broken dreams.
8. Jack Lengyel (We Are Marshall) - McConaughey comes on strong here as the inspirational coach of the shaken football team. He also points at things with his thumb which I think is pretty cool.
7. Dirk Pitt (Sahara) - Bonus points for the country singer handle here. McConaughey is buried in a pile of dirt in this movie, they should have called him Dirt Pitt. Unless there's a real desert explorer guy named Dirk Pitt that this character is based on, in which case I would like to apologize to the entire Pitt family. Actually, that sounds like the kind of job that Brad Pitt's brother might do- someone get on that. If you hate showers, this is the movie for you.
6. Mud (Mud) - Similar to his previous character, presenting more grubby McConaughey. He's in his element here- living on an island, broken relationships, hasn't showered in months. I'm not so sure the directors weren't just filming island McConaughey skipping rocks and cracking coconuts when he wasn't paying attention.
5. Ron Woodruff (Dallas Buyers Club) - A power play in the midst of the McConaissance, Matty Matt drops the hammer on all of us here. When he won the Oscar for this, his adroitness at shifting to and fro third person brought forth memories of great ones like Shaq and Dr. J.
4. Cooper (Interstellar) - This is your second cousin's favorite McConaughey offering. A strange, dark trip, this is not the movie to watch if you are about to drive by a cornfield or go camping or go camping in a cornfield.
3. Rick Peck (Tropic Thunder) - McConaughey is a man on a mission in this hilarious, star studded affair. The mission? To find that TiVo. The look his face when he rescues this device is priceless- a mix of every human emotion. It was one of the finest acting performances McConaughey has dropped on us since he crawled out of that pile of dirt and into our hearts.
2. Mark Hanna (The Wolf of Wall Street) - We all remember McConaughey's iconic, stirring cameo in this Monopoly game of a movie. Thudding his chest and humming softly, McConaughey may not realize it but he is metaphorically channeling his career's work. Like a metronome, he has slowly, methodically dug his way into our subconscious, like a hummingbird tapping into a tree. Tom Cruise karate chops that tree down before you can say ghost protocol. Or he drives a motorcycle through it.
1. David Wooderson (Dazed and Confused) - Bizarrely, the introduction of McConaughey is also him at the peak of his powers. Wooderson is a role that inspired a generation of sleezebags, though he is creepily endearing. Matty Matt wrote Moby Dick with three "Alrights" in this movie.

Why We Love Stranger Things

     We love Stranger Things. Netflix hit it out of the park with this one. Eight binge worthy episodes later, we are left waiting for season two to drop on us like an anvil. But why do we love this show? It's not particularly creative, funny, or groundbreaking. Perhaps this is why we love it- because it is nothing special, yet one of a kind all at once. A puzzle wrapped in an enigma stuffed in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
     We live in a society that is constantly putting us in a box, telling us who we are and how we should feel. Before social media existed, people actually lived to exist with the people around them. Now that our society has been inundated with the inner web, deconstructing and determining our every move, we have lost a certain freedom. The freedom to just be- be who you are without worrying about the Snapchat ghost constantly hovering above your shoulder.
     What makes Stranger Things so great is that it is not judgmental. This is The Breakfast Club of TV shows. It doesn't tell us how we should feel- the show is too busy having a blast to tell anyone what to do. It simply unleashes a land of nostalgia that operates as an olive branch to the audience. This olive branch is telling us to relax and enjoy the nighttime bike ride.
     Stranger Things is a very intricate series yet hits all the broad strokes. There's the main kid, with his friends and family. There's the good cop and the evil guy with slicked back gray hair. He's supposed to be the enemy because- just look at him. He looks like he's plotting to steal the last turkey from the homeless shelter on Thanksgiving. But the show is not so black and white. Life is not black and white. It's gray. Like this guy's slicked back, neatly combed matte of hair. So who's the enemy then if it's not this slick guy? All of us. We are all the enemy. There's a monster in each and every one of us, clawing at our walls. Some people can suffocate the monster, others fall victim to its heinous ways. It's not all bad, though. We're not just the slick gray wolf, we are also the hero cop, the frightened mother, and the bullied brother. Each character in this show is a representative of a different facet of who we are as people. There's an inner war going on every day inside all of us, monsters fighting hero cops. Craziness you say? All I know is I've seen Stranger Things.

The 10 Best Mark Wahlberg Characters

10.  Jim Bennett (The Gambler) - The audience is introduced to sensitive Wahlberg here- an aimless English professor who can't seem to get his life on track. This is a good movie for you to watch if you like seeing suited men sporting colorful umbrellas.
9. John Bennett (Ted, Ted 2) - More aimless Wahlberg here, but this is more of a grounded version Wahlberg than the academic Bennett he plays in the previous film. This is a good movie for you to watch if you like seeing unemployed guys hanging out with their teddy bear.
8. Tommy Corn (I Heart Huckabees) - This is hipster Wahlberg at his finest, environmentally friendly and willing to talk out his problems like a rational human. This is a good movie for you to watch if you like seeing American Apparelized Wahlberg chain himself to a tree.
7. Bob Lee Swagger (Shooter) - This is 'Merica Wahlberg at the top of his game. With a backwards baseball cap, a wad of Copenhagen in his cheek, and the Stars and Stripes running through his veins, Wahlberg is cold blooded here. This is a good movie for you to watch if you love this country.
6. Dignam (The Departed) - Boston Wahlberg is back at his roots, with the Southie turned up to eleven. It's hard to stand out in this star crossed film, unless your name rhymes with Shark Shalberg. This is a good movie for you to watch if you like black hats.
5. Micky Ward (The Fighter) - More Southie Wahlberg here, this time the boxing type. While he shines in this movie, the real stars are his numerous sisters. This is a good movie for you to watch if you like seeing Christian Bale's skeleton.
4. Vince Papale (Invincible) - Philly Wahlberg here, he is at his most inspirational in this movie about a civilian walking onto the Philadelphia Eagles. This is also Football Wahlberg in his prime as well as  "Don't you dare count me out, do you know who I am? My name is Mark Wahlberg and I cannot be stopped" Wahlberg. This is a good movie for you to watch if you are about to try out for something.
3. Detective Terry Holtz (The Other Guys) - Peacock Wahlberg is going at it here, comedy sparring with Will Ferrell. Wahlberg is hilarious in this film, easily his funniest role on the big screen. This is a good movie for you to watch if you like buddy cop comedies that don't go by the book.
2. Holbrooke (Date Night) - When Shirtless Wahlberg shows up in this comedy and makes Steve Carrell look like a dork in front of Tina Fey, it is incredible. Carrell is made to feel embarrassed, frightened, and turned on all in a matter of seconds when Buff Wahlberg walks into his life and onto the screen. This is a good movie for you to watch if you think Tina Fey and Steve Carrell look like parents at a PTA meeting.
1. Mark Wahlberg (Entourage) - This is Mark Wahlberg at his finest, in the role he was born to play- Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg Wahlberg is at his Wahlbergest here, as he cameos in the film based on the HBO show based on his life. This is a good movie for you to watch if you want to see if Turtle has lost as much weight as Christian Bale in The Fighter.

Lebron James is the Pablo Escobar of the NBA

     It's the Lebron takeover. The King isn't done yet. What Lebron, Kyrie, and the Cleveland crew were able to pull off against a vaunted Warriors team last year was stupid. Down 3-1 in the Finals, Lebron said "Not so fast." Then he chugged a couple of raw eggs and shadow boxed a cardboard cutout of Steph Curry. Lebron clowned the Warriors in the Finals like that 13 year old kid with the peach fuzz and pencil mustache draining corner threes over winded 12 year olds. Then the kid does the Carmelo three point celebration where he hits himself in the head and gets a technical for taunting the opponent. So the coach takes the 13 year old out, who is already having a rough week after his dog has recently died and he has had trouble coping with the loss. Not to mention he has always had trouble fitting in at school since he was held back in first grade. He curses his genes on a nightly basis, having provided him with such mature facial hair. So after the game, the kid stays late in the gym and shoots for hours because the sound of the bouncing ball is the only thing that can make him forget his worries. 

     Narcos is a dangerous show. Pablo Escobar is a dangerous man. He is a good character to star as the leading character of such a show. There's a scene in an episode late in season one where Pablo Escobar (spoiler alert (that is if you were not aware that Pablo Escobar is a very dangerous man, which you should be since I forewarned you)) dismantles an enemy with a pool stick. This show is not for the light of heart. The moment where Pablo eliminates his opponent with recreational sport equipment is the equivalent of Lebron's block of Andre Igoudala in Game 7. Pablo did a conniving thing here with the eventual victim of his pool stick attack- he tricked him into thinking he was free, let off the hook. If this sounds familiar it's because Igoudala and the Warriors are the pool stick victim and Lebron is Pablo Escobar. Up 3-1 in the series, Golden State thought they were home free, as did Igoudala when he raced to the hoop for the finish late in Game 7. Then, Lebron and behold, number 23 came blurring across the court. It seems like it took the King two steps to reach the hoop from half court as he skied to wipe away Igoudala attempt at the rim. Much like Escobar, Lebron is out here killing fools.

     Besides the brash pool stick related antics, Escobar has a quiet air of superiority. As he strolls around his various compounds, hand firmly tucked into his belt, calmly ordering around his henchmen, there is a certain sadness to his ways. It's as if he knows that he is putting his family in danger through his actions, yet he knows no other way to show his affection for them. He is decisive in his orders, having enemies knocked off left and right, but Escobar knows that these decisions will eventually come back to haunt him and his loved ones. The other shoe is a dark cloud that hangs over Escobar in a quotidian fashion, always waiting around the next corner. 

     Lebron is certainly not as down and out as Escobar, but he does have a dark cloud hanging over his every move. This dark cloud wore number 23 and played for the Chicago Bulls, as Lebron has alluded to with Sports Illustrated. Will Lebron ever be able to shake this cloud and make it to the light? This is a debate that will rage on for decades after his retirement, depending on how many more rings he can capture. There is a moment in Narcos when Escobar stares into the green, luscious countryside, as if he cannot believe the rewards he has reaped from it. He has such a deep, intimate relationship with the Columbian soil and people- the ultimate loyalty to a country. He has been exiled to other countries only to return home once again, stronger and more powerful than ever. Does this remind you of a certain basketball player from Akron that wears number 23?

The 10 Best Matt Damon Characters

10. Bob (Stuck on You) - Damon can't seem to get away from Greg Kinnear in this ill-fated Farrelly brothers romp. Like he's literally stuck to him, if you didn't figure out already from the cryptic title. Oh boy.
9. Linus Caldwell (Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, and Thirteen) - I'm sure Damon is great in this trilogy but he is drowning in a sea of A list actors. Get it?
8. Loki (Dogma) - A '90s Kevin Smith religious flick that Damon shows up in with his ol' buddy Affleck. I can't remember a thing about this movie except that Chris Rock yelled some stuff. Or maybe he was just talking.
7. Mark Whitacre (The Informant!) - This is a fun little role for Damon where he got the chance to stretch his talents (and waistband). He's a straight putz in this movie and he plays it great.
6. Dr. Mann (Interstellar) - Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen this old movie: Damon is an a-hole in this movie which is why this character ranks below Mark Watney. I like to think that Damon getting stranded on Mars is somewhat payback from the universe for his betrayal in Interstellar.
5. Mark Watney (The Martian) - Wow does Mark Watney love science! This is a lot of one on one Damon, skyping old friends back on earth through his computer. You'll get to know him intimately, his favorite things to do on Mars, what he likes to grow and eat. This movie is like a long SNL digital short where Matt Damon gets stuck on Mars. Jimmy Kimmel gives apologies to Matt Damon for getting stuck on Mars.
4. Private James Ryan (Saving Private Ryan) - I would say Damon was great in this but I seem to remember Tom Hanks being the star who led everyone to find Private Ryan. Was Damon even in this movie for twenty minutes? If he was, the spotlight was being stolen by America's dad, Tom "Sully" Hanks.
3. Colin Sullivan (The Departed) - Now we are really getting down to it. This is Damon at his best- nitty, gritty, not afraid to fight, cloaked in a thick Boston accent. Nicholson and Leo may steal most of the best scenes in the movie but Damon embodies everything it stands for- being a tough Southie mo'fo.
2. Will Hunting (Good Will Hunting) - This is the classic Damon-Affleck dynamic at its best. Damon is on point as a brilliant janitor. My favorite part about this movie is the late Robin Williams' persistent obsession with the young Will Hunting's genius. He spends many an off hour discussing with his colleague how he can connect with the young man and share his intelligence with the world. He cares more about this janitor than his own students. Maybe he has an unhealthy obsession with smart janitors.
1. Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum, Jason Bourne) - Damon plays the ultimate ninja warrior in these fast flying action movies. Bourne kicks a lot of ass and takes a lot of names, except his own which he could not remember at the beginning of the first movie (spoilers).

82 Reasons Why We Can't Wait for the NBA to Return

1. Will J.R. Smith put a shirt back on and will he be in The Land?
2. Update on Lebron's hairline.
3. Golden State's Lineup of Death 2.0.
4. Russell Westbrook and his F.U. to the rest of the league season.
5. Will Steve Kerr endure the Tao of Javale McGee in the bay?
6. Dwight Howard leads Hawks to playoffs, makes All Star team in return home.
7. Is Minnesota ready to take the next step with Coach Tibs?
8. Utah is looking frisky, let's see if the Stifle Tower can take them to the next level.
9. How many bigs will the Sixers keep and how many will they get rid of?
10. Joel Embiid looks huge standing next to Simmons and Okafor- how will he look in game action?
11. De'Angelo Russell social media watch.
12. Are the Suns going to field a lineup of only Kentucky players?
13. Dwyane Wade return to Chi-town.
14. Will Karl Towns and Wiggins be All Stars?
15. Coach Pop and his sideline interview prowess.
16. Craig Sager and his sideline interview prowess.
17. Will David West's ring chasing ways pay off?
18. Boston fans thinking they are the best.
19. Iceberg Slim, The Servant, Slim Reaper, Durantula, KD... Whatever you want to call him, KD is going to be sick in a Golden State uniform.
20. How will Chef Curry respond to the addition of the second best player in the league (behind that guy in Cleveland)?
21. Gordon and LaVine- law firm or dunk contest finalists?
22. Did I mention Russell Westbrook is going to be MVP? He's going to be MVP.
23. Clipper fans being disappointed, yet again.
24. Speaking of which, will Blake Griffin be in a Clipper uniform at the end of the season?
25. The Derrick Rose Trial debacle.
26. The New York Knicks Superteam.
27. Will the ageless Spurs finally slow down and how will Pao look?
28. That thing the players wipe their shoes off on.
29. The scores table.
30. Chalk being thrown in the air.
31. Gatorade cups for days.
32. Kobe Bryant, citizen.
33. What else will Steph Curry hurl at onlooking fans?
34. The Inside the NBA crew and their late night shenanigans.
35. Bill Walton (even though he does college games I am still excited for the return of the greatest hippy of all time).
36. Luke Walton in the post Kobe L.A. era.
37. No look passes.
38. Announcers arguing over the intentional foul rule.
39. Players ripping off the sleeved jerseys.
40. The Christmas Day slate of games.
41. Woo half way there! I need a Gatorade break. Oh yeah...the opening tip.
42. League Pass darlings.
43. The trials and tribulations of Boogie Cousins in Sacto-are they going to hold him hostage forever?
44. Is this the year John Wall finally turns on Washington?
45. Can Bradley Beal play a whole season healthy?
46. Players diving into the stands.
47. What will The Brow look like if he can stay on the court?
48. Box scores.
49. Post game interviews trolled by teammates.
50. One shining moment...wrong level, my bad. Headbands, final answer.
51. Heat checks.
52. Four point plays (I see you, Jamal Crawford).
53. Throwback jerseys.
54. De-fense chants.
55. Will any team challenge the Cavs in the East?
56. How will the soccer moms in Portland appreciate Evan "The Villain" Turner?
57. The Euro Step.
58. Will James Harden go full Amish?
59. The Charity Line.
60. Will Miami be so bad that Pat Riley dunks his entire body in an ice bucket?
61. The Greek Freak and his freshly inked deal.
62. Will Oladipo expand his shooting range in OKC?
63. Will there be enough shots to go around in the Bay?
64. Regular seasons that actually matter.
65. Trash talk.
66. "Hold me back!!!" fights.
67. Whatever Metta World Peace is up to.
68. Phil Jackson, zen master.
69. Madison Square Garden and the Staples Center.
70. Mascots, especially the Phoenix Gorilla.
71. Missing the Sonics.
72. Buzzer beaters.
73. Overtime.
74. The scoring title.
75. Michael Jordan highlights.
76. Wondering how good Allen Iverson could have been.
77. Coach mustaches.
78. The kiss cam on the jumbo-tron.
79. Coaches breaking clipboards.
80. The 6th man.
81. Players wiping their shoes on their hands.
82. The kids who run out and wipe the court off while the game is still going, then a fast break comes back there way when they aren't paying attention and they have to run out of the way really quick to avoid being demolished.

Which Cat is Your NFL Team?

Arizona Cardinals
Atlanta Falcons
Baltimore Ravens
Buffalo Bills
Carolina Panthers
Chicago Bears
Cincinnati Bengals
Cleveland Browns
Dallas Cowboys
Denver Broncos
Detroit Lions
Green Bay Packers
Houston Texans
Indianapolis Colts
Jacksonville Jaguars
Kansas City Chiefs
Los Angeles Rams
Miami Dolphins
Minnesota Vikings
New England Patriots
New Orleans Saints
New York Giants
New York Jets
Oakland Raiders
Philadelphia Eagles
Pittsburgh Steelers
San Diego Chargers
San Francisco 49ers
Seattle Seahawks
Tampa Bay Bucaneers
Tennessee Titans
Washington Redskins

What Netflix Show is Your NBA Team?

What Netflix Show is Your NBA Team?

Atlanta Hawks: Lady Dynamite – Maria Bamford moves back to Los Angeles while Dwight Howard moves back to his hometown, the former in an attempt to rebuild her comedy career while the latter is trying to rebuild his basketball career.

Boston Celtics: Sons of Anarchy – This dynasty is a mainstay in its league’s record books as well as the hearts of fans and critics, also Charlie Hunnam’s beard looks like Bill Russell’s.

Brooklyn Nets: Trailer Park Boys – A motley cast/roster that was likely assembled by an owner that was almost as drunk as the main characters of this show.

Charlotte Hornets: Black Mirror – This show is also speculative in that it is questionable if the best basketball player who ever lived is capable of running a franchise.

Chicago Bulls: Bloodline – A plodding, mid-ranged, allergic to the three point line based offense/ship based premise leads this team/show to being your dad’s favorite.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Orange is the New Black – A superteam with an ultra-talented lead cast member/player in Taylor Schilling/Lebron James.

Dallas Mavericks: Fuller House – This is a failed remake/ode to your step sister’s favorite Nick at Nite show from the 90s while this Mavericks team would also be better if you were to rewind its star player 20 years.

Denver Nuggets: Flaked – Young and relatively unknown, this run and gun, upbeat style team/show is derivative of the Houston Rockets/Arrested Development.

Detroit Pistons: The Ranch – This premise for a show/roster is a heinous, scrambled attempt at competing with the powerhouses of the conference/Netflix television landscape.

Golden State Warriors: Stranger Things – A powerhouse and the odds on favorite to win the championship this year, this show/team is so talent-packed that it will be near impossible to stop.

Houston Rockets: Arrested Development – This jumbled, call-back strewn chaos is generally hard to follow for fair weather fans and a favorite of analytic cults.

Indiana Pacers: Last Chance U – This team/show is based in the country’s heartland where basketball/football is beloved and the fate of a little town rides on the outcome of the game, in this case Indianapolis.

L.A. Lakers: Daredevil – This show and team are related in that Lakers players generally look like they have been blinded when they take a jump shot, also you would have to be a daredevil to be a fan of that team after the way Kobe’s “50 for 60” departure.

L.A. Clippers: Making a Murderer – Chris Paul is the Steven Avery of this team as he was wrongfully sentenced to 6 years of being buried on a solid team that will never make the conference finals.

Memphis Grizzlies: The Returned ­– A tough, grit and grind bunch of players/character with a style of play that has seemingly returned from the dead.

Miami Heat: The Get Down – A flashy bunch, this team/show will have difficulty living up to the glamour and glitz of its city.

Milwaukee Bucks: Love – An analytics cult favorite, this youthful squad is fun to watch for those who like to see the rules of basketball/Netflix original comedy-dramas broken.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – This fan favorite is fast paced, extremely young, and quickly becoming a cult favorite among the most knowledgeable basketball/television followers.

New Orleans Pelicans: BoJack Horseman – This team is led by a player of cartoonish proportions, Anthony Davis/BoJack Horseman, who has more untapped potential than a talking horse.

New York Knicks: The League – An old standby loaded with aging talent that thinks it’s a super team because of all the huge names it signs/guest stars.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Narcos – Russell Westbrook is Pablo Escobar in this situation, in that he will be a cold-blooded, cutthroat killer after what the traitor Kevin Durant did to him and his team.

Orlando Magic: Master of None – Tons of young talent here, Aaron Gordon is the Aziz Ansari here as he is an incredible dunker, the former of basketballs, the latter of freshly baked croissants with a hint of basil.

Philadelphia 76ers: Netflix Presents: The Characters – This team/show has the most potential in the league, a fun cast of players/improvisational comedians whose talent generally overlaps (Saric, Simmons, Okafor, Embiid, Noel).

Phoenix Suns: Hemlock Grove – A youthful roster full of upside and potential, it is scary how bad this team is right now, however.

Portland Trailblazers: Grace and Frankie – These are interconnected in that Damian Lillard and C.J. Mcollum lived with their mothers for an extended period of time for a professional athlete and I like to think that their mothers are as sparky as the title characters of this show.

Sacramento Kings: Jessica Jones – Boogie Cousins was the Jessica Jones of this year’s Olympic squad in that it appeared his basketball superpowers had mysteriously gone missing.

San Antonio Spurs: House of Cards – Coach Pop is Frank Underwood in that he is the relentlessly successful and ruthless leader of this dynasty, unafraid of laying waste to anyone who dares to try standing in his way.

Toronto Raptors: Marco Polo – With international flavor, this team/show will have trouble ever getting over the hump of winning its conference and defeating the Cavaliers/Orange is the New Black.

Utah Jazz: Wet Hot American Summer – A shout out to a classic movie, this team/cast lives in what seems to be a magical land of summer camp, otherwise known as Utah.

Washington Wizards: The Killing – This show is based on the investigation of who is murdering the prime of John Wall’s career.