Viking Man takes his horns to the AFFL, laying down preposterous POINTS (championship!) with a surge from his Chargers Herbert/Williams tandem to more than double poor FFT, who’s head was left spinning faster than Adam Schefter deciding which cell phone to answer first on draft day. This must be some sort of league record that deserves a star on the AFFL Walk of Fame located in Bloomington, Indiana behind the Petco. Captain Kirk defeats A&O with help from another Charger, Austin Ekeler, two men named Damien and a little thing called faith (also the momentum of his Minnesota Vikings and Kirk Cousins’s forearm into Mike Zimmer’s chest…Zimmer down, people.) The Moose bounces back vs Tenacious D with a stellar rendition by Josh Allen in the pouring rain in KC as lightning delayed halftime (it’s not THUNDER that caused the delay, it’s lightning, OK? Somebody’s still bitter about the Sonics moving to OKC), allowing ample time for Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth to sing campfire tunes while making s’mores. The Planeteers edge out Hawkeyes despite Iowa’s momentous win Saturday, leaving their fans more excited than Kelly Clarkson on The Voice. Pink Panther pulls it out over Prangsters with a big Hollywood Brown showing on MNF. Finally, PPE lays the wood to Whammy after some ill-advised trash talk.
MT Moose snags the five after the Ravens comeback to beat Indy in OT as a single tear rolls down Peyton Manning’s face. Everyone advances in Survivor so let’s re-rack it for next week.
Good luck to ALL in Week 6!
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