🏈AFFL Week 10✏️

 

We’re 10 weeks in - time to start gearing up for that final playoff push, babes!

The Planeteers enter the 3rd place logjam as they pull out a big-time victory over the Moose with some nice MNF points. PPE gets a couple big Cowboys games and destroys Prangsters to pull into a 1st place tie with VM. Pink Panthers also gets a nice Dallas performance (from Dak) and beats A&O to pull into a 3-way tie for 2nd with MT Moose and FFT. Captain Kirk has a nice game on the ground and edges out Tenacious D, leaving them both at .500. Dallas was the difference this week as Viking Man also benefits, from the Defense, sliding past his little bro. Finally, FFT puts the wham in Whammy in a landslide match. A&O snags another fiver as they select the correct choices in the Week 10 slate. 

Congratulations to Nick, The Planeteers, on winning Survivor this season as Tompa and Arizona fail Steve and Jo, respectively and respectfully.

Good luck to all in Week 11 - just win, baby!

🏈AFFL Week 9

Nine weeks in and we have 3 teams tied for the top spot. 

Moose knocks off PPE in a big matchup that leaves them both in 1st (along with Viking Man). The Planeteers gets a nice game from Lamar and defeats FFT. VM crushes A&O after another good showing from Herbert. Hawkeyes nearly doubles up Prangsters after a hot start from J-Taylor Thursday night. Pink Panthers gets an even performance across the board and edges out Captain Kirk. Finally, Whammy loses a heartbreaker after he watched the whole game Sunday night, wearing his tender heart on his sleeve, falling to the Tenacious one after a dumb garbage-time TD from Stafford & company with 24 seconds left. Curse you, Matt Stafford - curse you back to Detroit, good sir!

Captain Kirk pulls out the pools and the five, riding high after his extraterrestrial expedition. Hawkeyes and Tenacious D drop out of Survivor after betting on Dallas to win to go 7-1 which just wouldn’t have been right. 

Good luck to all in Week 10 - Happy Veterans Day!

 

🏈AFFL Week 8

 

More than halfway to the playoffs, this race is tighter than Rich Eisen’s hamstring after running the 40. 

PPE moves into 1st place after a strong performance across the board puts him past A&O. Kirk defeats Hawkeyes after a nice game on the ground, knotting them up at 4-4. Tenacious D also gets a big game from his RBs and also moves to 4-4, crushing Prangsters. The Planeteers, also now 4-4, holds off Kelce and Pink Panthers on MNF. FFT edges out MT Moose thanks to a couple nice Chiefs games Monday. Finally, Whammy gets by Viking Man with another big game from Tyreek in the spotlight. 

Whammy takes home the five after annihilating the competition in pool picks. Kirk, PPE, FFT and A&O drop out of Survivor after betting on the Bengals to beat the Jets, who posted last week’s AFFL recap on their locker room bulletin board for motivation. 

Good luck to all in November! 

🏈AFFL Week 7🎁

Seven weeks into the season and we have a three-way tie atop the standings between Viking Man, PPE and MT Moose, with several teams within striking distance. Even in the cellar at 3 games back, A&O, The Planeteers and Whammy still have a chance at the playoffs (like how the Jets always have a chance at winning the Super Bowl, but for butt fumbles).

Captain Kirk gets a clutch game from his kicker (Ga-yes!) putting him past the Moose. Viking Man gets another stellar game from his wide outs, Kupp & Evans (located in the strip mall across from Denny’s, Kupp & Evans - “We’ll put cold hard CASH in your POCKET (even if you don’t deserve it!) *Kupp & Evans is in no way affiliated with the AFFL, any depiction of the AFFL with Kupp & Evans is a copyright infringement and will result in 75-80 years of Jets fandom (take that, Fireman Ed! And thank you for your service.) Hawkeyes lays out A&O thanks to a balanced attack. Prangsters holds on against The Planeteers with help from another great Tompa performance. PPE crushes FFT as Stafford solidifies his position in the 2nd tier of fantasy QBs. Finally, Whammy falls to Pink Panthers despite his solid Thursday night and Dak’s bye week. 

Moose and Hawkeyes split the pool picks and collect change for the toll (if they had to worry about that in Spokane). Somehow, everyone advances once again in Survivor, an unprecedented event in the history of the league (probably). 

Good luck to all in Week 8 and Happy Halloween - don’t get too spooked by your ghost of a running back or burn your kicker at the stake for being a witch!

🏈AFFL Week 6

 

Week 6 is in the books, y’alls!

Moose holds off a strong Cooper Kupp performance (reppin’ Eastern WA, baby - fly high, Eagles!) PPE crushes Pink Panther with 5 touchdowns from his wide outs. FFT obliterates A&O thanks to 4 TDS from her RBs. Prangsters lays the wood to Captain Kirk after nearly 60 points from D-Henry and Regular Season Lenny. Tenacious Dizzle outlasts Planeteers after a nice choice of Darrell Henderson and an unfortunate McCaffrey no-go. Finally, Hawkeyes downs Whammy while Jon Taylor runs all over lowly Houston. 

Miraculously, once again everyone advances in Survivor - 2022 family reunion in Vegas, baby! Prangsters takes home the pool picks and the value of a Starbucks frap. 

Good luck in lucky Week 7, fam - nail down that NFL head coach Halloween costume with several errant clipboards, an undulating potbelly and impeccably high-waisted khakis. 

🏈AFFL Week 5

Viking Man takes his horns to the AFFL, laying down preposterous POINTS (championship!) with a surge from his Chargers Herbert/Williams tandem to more than double poor FFT, who’s head was left spinning faster than Adam Schefter deciding which cell phone to answer first on draft day. This must be some sort of league record that deserves a star on the AFFL Walk of Fame located in Bloomington, Indiana behind the Petco. Captain Kirk defeats A&O with help from another Charger, Austin Ekeler, two men named Damien and a little thing called faith (also the momentum of his Minnesota Vikings and Kirk Cousins’s forearm into Mike Zimmer’s chest…Zimmer down, people.) The Moose bounces back vs Tenacious D with a stellar rendition by Josh Allen in the pouring rain in KC as lightning delayed halftime (it’s not THUNDER that caused the delay, it’s lightning, OK? Somebody’s still bitter about the Sonics moving to OKC), allowing ample time for Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth to sing campfire tunes while making s’mores. The Planeteers edge out Hawkeyes despite Iowa’s momentous win Saturday, leaving their fans more excited than Kelly Clarkson on The Voice. Pink Panther pulls it out over Prangsters with a big Hollywood Brown showing on MNF. Finally, PPE lays the wood to Whammy after some ill-advised trash talk. 

MT Moose snags the five after the Ravens comeback to beat Indy in OT as a single tear rolls down Peyton Manning’s face. Everyone advances in Survivor so let’s re-rack it for next week. 

Good luck to ALL in Week 6!

🏈AFFL Week 4

Week 4 was a dooze!

A&O gets a humongous ground game and blows up The Planeteers (Elon Musk’s favorite team) despite Deebo’s deeds. Viking Man defeats Pink Panthers who got a no-show from half her squad. FFT edges the Prangsters even though Cordarrelle Patterson got as many touchdowns as “R”s in his first name (3). Tenacious D beats out PPE thanks to a 15er from his trusty Bills D, which you might even call tenacious (Tenacious D may be an undercover member of the Bills Mafia). Watch out for moose (meese?) crossing and a cross Moose as she watched in horror Monday night, getting a lousy 2 from her kicker when she needed 4. Finally, Whammy whammys Captain Kirk (Shatner’s going to space, if you haven’t seen TMZ lately), getting a winning performance from Tyreek & the Hills. 

Tenacious D takes home five buckaroos and solidifies pole position in pool picks. The Moose and Pink Panthers (sounds like a French Canadian zoo, am I right? Thank you, I’ll be here all season) are voted off the island in Survivor after the previously winless Big Apple teams upset their picks - luckily they have a Redemption Island available in the form of one crisp Abe each. 

Best of luck in Week 5 except for PPE! 

Just kidding, but not really. 

- White Goodman, Dodgeball