State Haikus Part One

Oh Alabama
You love your football, Roll Tide
Pickup trucks; country

Alaska is cool
Abundant with nature stuff
Hunting is welcomed

Arizona, wow
Your weather is oppressive
The Grand Canyon, though

Arkansas, speechless
Walmart HQ, the Ozarks
The Travel Channel

Cali beautiful
Many miles of tan coastline
Movie stars for days

Colorado, weed
The Rocky Mountains are there
Microbreweries

Rich Connecticut
Prep schools and Sperry's boat shoes
Land of many yachts

Delaware, First State
Geographically small
You have a big heart

Oh god, Florida
Your state flag should be a guy
With a machete

Georgia on my mind
Sweet tea and dusty back roads
Is a country song

Hawaii luau
Hula dancing, pig roasting
Don't forget surfing

You got Idaho
Potatoes on potatoes
I like to make fun

Windy Illinois
Chicago is a great city
Other than that, corn

Hi Indiana
Basketball, favorite sport
Hoosier not hoser

Iowa is grand
The Hawkeyes and the Cyclones
Does it get better?

Kansas, Wizard of Oz
Follow the yellow brick road
Bill Self is boring

Kentucky moonshine
Partying and horse racing
College basketball

Louisiana
The home of The Big Easy
And some swamp people

Oh hello there Maine
I didn't see you up there
You love your lobster

Sweet oh Maryland
Crabcakes and football are life
Said Bradley Cooper

Dang Massachusetts
You have so much history
And annoying fans

The glove, Michigan
The upper peninsula
Sounds really chilly

Ya Minnesota
You got the twin cities there
We love your accent

Gee Mississippi
Your name is ridiculous
But it's a river

Missouri is here
We call you the Show Me State
Such a weird nickname

Football Haikus

Pigskin a prancing
Chunks of black rubber fly high
All the way, touchdown!

One-handed catches
Tip-toeing down the sideline
And the kick is good

Quarterbacks, tricky
Sometimes they are amazing
Others not so much

Oh Philip Rivers
Makes lots of funny faces
Like a circus clown

Haikus about Hollywood

DiCaprio hair
Tom Cruise rides motorcycles
Kevin Hart again

Gravity is great
Bullock and Clooney in Space
You had me at Space

Affleck and Damon
It's Good Will Hunting season
Not your fault, apples

America's Dad
Tom Hanks with a gray mustache
Yelling at people

Watching Brad Pitt eat food
Like watching a great white shark
Feast on a surfer

Denzel Washington
Would be the most serious
Gym teacher ever

Matt McConaughey
Said, "Alright, alright, alright"
Now drives a Lincoln

Adam Sandler jokes
Used to be hilarious
Now they are just sad