Where were you in 1996? Let’s see how far we’ve come (shoutout Matchbox Twenty). A fun, nostalgic romp - Tom Cruise runs, swims, jumps, hangs on, crawls under, gasps, yells, perhaps dies and comes back to life, punches, pokes, stabs, tackles, flops, trips, and much more fun stuff often involving unsuspecting schlubs.
Tom Cruise is cold and wet a lot - he’s good at pretend shiver and convulsing. It’s good to see the whole gang one last time - like a spy school reunion. Simon Pegg is a wonderful wanker. Ving Rhames has the voice of a sturdy angelic brute. Hayley Atwell is charming and lovely. Esai Morales and Tom Cruise are in a heated competition for the better looking 1962-born fella. Pom Klementieff is lethally silly. It seemed like the CIA crew was working in a sauna, they were sweatin’ like a husky in Houston. Fun, fun movie and a great way to spend a warm ultimate day of May - 3 hours in the cinema with my dad - some classic father-son bro-action-thriller bonding - Tom Cruise has been uniting fathers and sons for over 4 decades, what a living legend he is, I’m excited to see what he may do next, like jump off the Grand Canyon but then he has a lil mini bike that somehow flies outta nowhere and he catches it in the air and rides it on top of a bunch of trees and over a bunch of school busses in an Evel Knieval ode to greatness but maybe Tom Cruise can play Evel in a movie and do even crazier stunts or some fun stuff let’s make it happen shoutout David from Survivor, also a stunt man, maybe he can be in the next Tom Cruise movie and it’s just Tom Cruise as like a Mr. Miyagi at a school for stuntmen and he’s like “Wax this…foooooooo” and leaps off a helicopter with a bungee cord on his buttocks.
Also I totally bro’d out and cried near the end of this one - bro warrior tears of a chompion - God bless America - I also sobbed a bit during the last one back in July 2023 and Top Gun: Maverick the Summer before - maybe it’s my personal connection to Hollywood, Tom Cruise’s undeniably cute face and small town charm, action thriller bro-mances where the bro-mance is between Man and the air (like Parkour but for old guys - Rosa Parkours - Cross-git’r’done - I love America and Tom Cruise movies, if truck nuts were a movie, I would camp out like people getting a new iPhone but I wouldn’t have sleeves or shame - a chaw and a prayer - slap a bumper sticker on me that says Billy Murrica, now I have an NBA playoff game to watch - Geaux NYK in Indiana I want Game 7 on Monday - wonder if Tom Cruise watches the NBA playoffs or perhaps he’s in a hyperbaric chamber listening to Zendaya, he probably just leapt off something, his feet must be made of cement and Greek Yogurt - what a great man, though, is he from upstate New York or upEarth World this guy is a legend love T-Cruise and go Knicks and have a great day also check out my pod and books and old articles for Daily Evergreen - what if they called it Seminole-aid haha or Hurricane-aid (which sounds like a charity) or Hurricaid - just saw the Gatorade commercial haha does Coke own one and Pepsi owns Powerade or what let’s go
